Moving Forward Series Part 02 Going Forward
by OtherMeWriter
Summary: The Doctor finds a new reason to live in a young human named Rose... but what makes her so important that the White Guardian needs to get involved in bringing them together and that makes the Black guardian so set against the idea?
1. Chapter 01 Rose, what is it about Rose?

Part 02 - Going Forward Chapter 01 - Rose, what is it about Rose? 

By the time we reach the alley, I have decided that the young woman I have just liberated from the clutches of the Autons has a good head on her shoulders. Untrained humans that do as well as she has about thinking through things while running for their lives are few. As I push her out the door, I can't shake the feeling I know her from someplace.

As I turn to set up the bomb on the roof, I pause and feel compelled to go back and ask her name. Rose, a pretty name that, quite a lovely flower. They really are pretty rare in terms of flowers of the universe. Not like a trixtafaraven or a daisy. Now daisies, daisies were quite the prolific little flower. I continue to muse on types of flowers as I dodge my way past Autons and take the stairs two and three at a time 'til I reach the primary relay structure on the roof. I quickly finish setting the timer and run for it; one never could quite trust Ace's timers to give the proper time. Hopefully this one will get close. It really is funny how self-preservation kicks in when running for your life, I think, while trying not to think too much about the fact that a little over three weeks ago I wouldn't have even bothered trying to leave the roof let alone the building.

Hitting the exit at full tilt, I make barely a few dozen steps when the charge on the roof goes off. I dive for the pavement, just before the second even larger charge I had dropped in the stair well explodes to finish off the job. I move back to observe my handy work satisfied there will be no saving the infrastructure thus no way for the Autons to use that relay. True that still left finding the Nestene and convincing it, if I could, to leave earth peacefully. I regret the fact that I have to make up some anti-plastic; but I haven't lived as long as I have without taking at least some precautions. If anything war has taught me is that, just some beings cannot or will not accept peaceful coexistence.

As I pessimistically make my way back to the TARDIS, I pull out my sonic screwdriver and check to see if I can pick up the primary transmitter. Not getting any signal, my mind wanders back to the young blonde I had escorted from building. There really is something unusual about her. I just can't put my finger on what. I have this intense feeling I know her, and despite having snatched glances at her as we traveled up the elevator, I still can't place her. I am unsure why it seems so important, but I have learned long time ago to pay attention to these odd feelings. Entering the TARDIS, I move to the main monitor and begin scanning for the transmitter I know it has to be someplace near. After a dozen cups of tea, two full pots of coffee and making one tube of anti-plastic I still haven't managed to trace down the signal.

It really does feel good to have a puzzle to solve again, especially one that can be life or death. Scowling I think, well, to be more exact has already been deadly to that shop fellow. Just one more in my personal body count, just one more I wasn't able to save. Still, trying to keep more people from dying is something that I can take action on, do something about and maybe this time make some kind of difference in its outcome. Not like… Before I can spiral off into even more depressing thoughts I pick up a short blip on the monitor. Quickly I reset coordinates to make the short hop needed to get the TARDIS closer to the signal. Back to tracing the signal on foot, at least it is morning again so I'm not wandering around in the dark.

Why did I do it? Why did I tell her so much? I don't usually go around spouting off about Nestenes and living plastic, get you locked up that will, and now I have talked to her about it twice in 48 hours. Is it because of that nagging feeling that I know her from some place? For that matter, what was it that possessed me to take her hand and show her the spin of the planet; I've never done that before for any of my companions, why should I start with her? She isn't even my companion, just some stupid ape I met in a shop I had to blow up. Nevertheless, there is something there though; she had actually made me laugh. After everything that has happened, she made me laugh. I shake my head marveling at that fact. How can I laugh, how can I even dare to be happy let alone laugh when... No, none of this makes sense.

I really do need to focus on getting a trace on that Nestene, hopefully with this plastic hand I disabled in her flat. Not very complex but I should get some readings maybe that will be enough to get closer to that signal. When this is sorted, I'm getting off this planet with its confusing humans that are so… well human.

Tapping into the residual signal from the arm, I move the TARDIS only to lose the signal again almost immediately. Most of the day **goes** like that, picking up the signal then losing it again. Finally, in my last small hop I pick up a stronger signal and again set off on foot to track it down.

Oh No! Not her again! What is it with this blonde? I walk into the restaurant, finding the signal getting stronger the closer I get to her. Why is it that I feel so relieved when I determine it's her dinner partner and not her? As the plastic dummy starts to grill her about what she knows regarding my location and plans, I grab a bottle of champagne from a cooling bucket. Not exactly top-notch champagne, but then it's not as if I'm planning on drinking the stuff. I just need something to slow that thing down 'til I can get it away from Rose and the restaurant full of people.

Oh Rassilion, it's grabbed her hand. Okay, maybe a bit subtler tact 'til I can get it to let go of Rose. Well, at least it let her go when it saw me. I'll just pop dummy on the noggin with the cork and… Oh, that didn't go quite as planned. Really the cheek spitting the cork at me, really quite rude but then what do you expect of a dummy.

Well let's see if I can get the head off that thing, it has to be much more complex then the arm so should make a perfect tracker. Not to mention without its head it will be much harder for it to catch or take hostages which if these people have any sense at all should give them plenty of time to get out of here.

Oh, very clever Rose, using the fire alarm to get everyone to scatter. Nice work that should nicely take care of the bystanders and keeping dummy focused on me will be easy. Good, now a quick run through the shop, and… Yes! There it is, the steel reinforced door I saw earlier when I landed the TARDIS that should slow it down a bit.

Lock the door quick like and into the TARDIS to get the head hooked up, and Rose, well I've told her where I'm going. She's a smart girl; she'll follow me in when she can't get out that gate. I mean she's already told plastic boy she thought I might be an alien and although she was cautious, she didn't sound freaked out by the idea. Heck, she had even tried to dissuade dummy from asking about me and she didn't contacted the police last night regarding me blowing the store up. Yes indeed, something definitely different about this girl.

Ah there she is. Oops, out the door again. These humans can be so funny when they see the inside is bigger than the outside. There, all wired up, should have just enough time to sort her out while the TARDIS triangulates.

"Right where do you want to start?" Okay, now for the typical questions:

"The insides bigger then the outside?"

"Yes

"It's alien?

"Yeah"

"Are you Alien?" OK now for the biggie

"Yes," She is looking at me disbelieving. "That all right?" What was that? Why does it matter if she is okay with me being an alien?

"Yeah"

Why did just I find myself holding my breath waiting for her approval? What is it about this woman, well actually no more then a slip of a girl, that is so affecting me? I'm a Time Lord for Rassilion's sake the opinion of a mere human child really shouldn't matter so much.

Oh no now don't cry it's all right, "That's ok, culture shock happens to the best of us" I say trying to alleviate her anxiety. What? She is more worried about this Mickey fellow than being in an alien ship. Okay that's different.

What, the head's melting! "No, no, no, can't lose the signal! It's fading! NO, no, no, no!"

Maybe from outside I can spot it; the primary transmitter has to be huge. "I lost it! I lost the signal. I got so close!" Why is that female 'whittering on about that friend of hers again? Doesn't she get the big picture yet? How can I be worried just about her friend when the whole planet is at stake? This is so much bigger then her bloody boyfriend! No, that's not fair, she doesn't know what I do about these beings.

She's asking me about my accent, what is she trying to get at? Great now questions about the TARDIS that's more like it, they really do ask such random questions when their flustered.

"And this… this living plastic what does it got against us?" Oh good, good she's asking important questions again. I explain and amazingly, she seems to be getting it.

"How can you hide something that big in a city this small?" I explain to her what I can't find. Why is she making funny faces at me now? Oh, why can't these humans say what's on their minds?

"Oh, Fantastic!" Clever, very clever, Rose. Now look who's being dense! Some days I could just kiss these humans for their ability to spot the obvious; she's found the transmitter! Now to just get to the base of that transmitter, the Nestene has to be right at its base.

Why does her hand feel so right in mine? Why does it seem so natural her running here at my side? What is it about her?

She really is so very clever finding the access door. I tried to explain how unique Nestene are, how they have come here just trying to survive and all she wants me to do is kill it. Humans! Why can't they see beyond themselves? Well yes, I did mention the anti-plastic but I have to give her credit, she isn't arguing with me when I tell her I need to give it a chance.

Now for some negotiation, I just need to get this thing to move along and everyone goes home happy.

Oh great, now for the domestics, just what I need, a stupid lump and there she is on again about the boy.

Why, why can't the Nestene just move on? I asked politely and all it wants to do is demand its rights? Why won't it listen? Why do they never listen? No, the Nestene has found the anti-plastic, and it's all coming apart, why does it always have to come down to war? It's blaming me, blaming the Time Lords for the war. Like we really asked for a plague of Daleks, I try to explain but it is just too afraid, too angry to listen. Why, why, why does it always have to come back war? I'm so tired of war, tired of no one listening, tired of the killing. This time it's going to kill me, and you know maybe it is better this way at least then it won't be my fault. Let them fight their stupid wars without me this time!

I tell the humans to go so what does the girl do? The sensible thing and go, no, she has to make a phone call, I can't believe these humans! I will try to delay for as long as I can but the Nestene is transmitting and I can't stop it. Why won't they just go? No! Now they can't get out, the stairs have gone. If I can just get away from this mannequin I can get them out, but it doesn't seem to matter, I just can't get loose! I look up at the humans, oh so fragile, and I have failed again. They're going to pay the price; they're going to die because I can't help them.

Oh man, she looks so beautiful far to beautiful to die. The light shimmers around her like a renaissance angel. This ethereal creature is going to die and I can do nothing, if only she ran when I told her! I hear that useless lump of hers yell, "Just leave him! There's nothing you can do!" Why isn't he protecting her? She said he was her friend and yet all he has done since we got here has been a worthless sniveling lump. She deserves so much better. If only I could just knock the anti-plastic from the mannequin's hand and into the vat. It's our only hope and it's just out of my reach, always out of reach! I just wish there was some way for her to survive. Then as if she suddenly understands what has to happen, she is running. What is she up too? She is breaking loose some chain with an axe and, like some celestial being, she using the chain to fly overhead, knocking the dummy with the anti-plastic into the vat and giving me just the distraction I need to send the other one in as well.

Helplessly I yell, "Rose!" As she swings out over the Nestene, she just has to hold on, she can't fall in, not now! She is swinging back, I can't believe how happy I am as I grab her and hold her to me, I never want to let her go. My beautiful Rose is safe!

"Now were in trouble," I say looking up as the Nestene begins thrashing in its death throes thanks to the Nestene's transporting the TARDIS down here is only a short run to escape. I can't believe it I have to peel her idiot from the side of my TARDIS to get in, can he get any more useless? There a quick jump to the last coordinates. Amazing, I have never seen anyone move so as fast as that idiot to get out of my TARDIS guess he does a talent after all. How can she have any interest in him? Why in the world would someone so bright be with someone so utterly useless?

As Rose leaves the TARDIS to comfort idiot boy I try to bluff it was simple, that there wasn't any doubt of the outcome. She is not stupid, she knows it was her that saved the day and calls me on it "You were useless in there you would have been dead if it wasn't for me."

"Yes, I would." Somehow, that admission doesn't seem so hard when she is looking at me like that. I nod my head, trying not to think about how warm her smile is making me feel. "Thank you." I say watching her smile, what am I going to do without someone to make it all worth doing?

'Theta, ask her to come!' The TARDIS states, I know she must have she picked up on my stray thought. I wonder what else might have prompted that suggestion never did figure out why she has been acting so odd. Maybe it was grief, that 'ill do funny things to you I didn't find anything else wrong with her.

So I offer and what do I get? The idiot piping up, "Don't! He's an alien, he's a thing." The ungrateful git! He would have been dead but for me and he can't see beyond his own selfish desires. I make it clear he's not welcome, last thing I need, a xenophobic idiot.

The fear of being alone again clenches at my hearts, as she doesn't answer. I can't lose her; I have just found this intelligent beautiful angel who makes me smile. I have to convince her to come. I try to come up with scores of reasons why she would want to come; I try to make her see that what I am offering her is so much better.

Now idiot is grabbing at her like a strangling vine and suddenly I'm losing her. She's rattling on about the reasons why she can't come and it feels like some black hole is devouring me, consuming me alive. I try not to look like she has just stolen my hope, swallowed my light, destroying my will to continue. I try to be casual, pretend it doesn't matter, but I can't. She looks me in the eye and just for a moment, I think she might change her mind if I delay just a bit more. No, not a word, she just stares at me and I can't take it any more. I have to leave and so I step back into the darkness, hiding the loss from her. I go numbly through the motions of telling the TARDIS to leave she can decide where we go this time. I just stand staring at the time rotor move. How can anyone turn down the universe, turn down all the marvelous beautiful things in space and time… Time!! I didn't mention time! Even as I move to return, I feel the TARDIS rematerializing only a few moments after we left. We can travel though time, maybe that will be enough for her to leave that pointless existence, leave that worthless lump behind. It looked like she wanted to go so maybe, just maybe, if I'm very lucky, this would convince her.

The smile that bursts onto her face as I say 'Time' tells me that I have won my hearts are soaring and I leave the door open and run to the console to begin figuring out where to take her that will convince her to never leave me!


	2. Chapter 02 The End of the World

Chapter 02 - The End of the World and a New Beginning

The TARDIS smiles to her self, it is good to see Theta happy. The guardian had said that there were things in the works that could bring him great joy, or great sorrow if he were not encouraged in the right direction. Now we have cleared the first major hurdle with the help of Alistair, Harry and Doris. They helped him come to terms with the fact he had no choice with regard to Gallifrey. In his hearts, Theta knew that, I saw that knowledge in his mind. It was just the great sorrow of our peoples loss had blinded him to it for a time and he refused to consolation. I have no delusions that he has healed I know better then to think this will be something so quickly recovered from, the evidence of my own feelings tells me this, but he has started the process.

I watch while he interacts with the human girl and feel she is the being that the Guardian had said could give him true healing and so much more. Someone who could take away the loneliness he has carried for so long. I really had not thought he would find her so soon nor had I thought that comfort would come in human form though true he has always loved the humans. I had originally thought it might be partly because he had had so little time with his own human mother. That may have been true when we started out, but as I have watched over the years, it has became obvious, that he loves them for their vitality, exuberance and their constant quest to squeeze every bit of experience out of their short life spans. A characteristic so many Gallifreyans and even many of the Time Lords had lost. They had always thought there was a tomorrow, never realizing that someday, all their tomorrows might suddenly run out. I know in many ways, it was the Time Lord's own hubris that had destroyed them. Their confidence in their control of time had blinded them until it was far too late for them to stop the oncoming Dalek disaster.

It was only the rebellious ones, like my Marnal and Theta, who could see the flaws in their logic. Marnal was stripped of his Time Lord rights; he was forced to live as an ordinary Gallifreyan and he was refused access to me and I was never allowed to see him again. Oh, they were such fools not to listen and we all paid. It was only Thetas being half human that had prevented him from facing the same fate. They had been ashamed of him and wanted nothing more then to get rid of him. From his earliest days at school, they had made sure that he would never want to stay. They had always made things harder on him then any of his contemporaries. It was in that forge he was tempered and made far stronger then the lot of them in the end. It was also just one of the many reasons why the loss of Gallifrey had hit him so hard. Even as they knew they were doomed, they gave to him the worst job of all, the job of their destruction. If it didn't hurt so much I would be glad they got what they deserved for they destroyed not only themselves but all of my kind as well.

The Council of Time Lords had never given him the credit he so richly deserved even when they had made him president for a time. They still never accepted him, still made it clear he was the half-breed inferior even though he was just as pure blood as they were after his first regeneration, his human genes unable to survive the transition. Although with their destruction, even the infinitesimally small hope that he had of acceptance had been banished. The irony is not lost on me that I the 'obsolete type 40' as they so often referred to me of as and the Gallifreyan 'half breed' are all that is left of their pompous race. True I may be old but Theta has always been far better then any of them taking the very best of his two heritages and becoming far better then you ever were.

Now, I watch as he grows more attached to Rose. I am amazed at the way she has drawn him in like a moth to a flame. I watch his confusion at his own feelings and his need for her approval. I become more and more certain that Rose is the one the White Guardian had mentioned. So, I encourage him to ask her to come with us. When Rose rejects our offer, I am stunned. I have to know why and I do something I almost never do. I look at Rose's immediate future, and I see so many time lines where Rose regrets not coming when she remembers his comment about Genghis Khan knowing with certainty that it wasn't just space she had turned down, but the ability to go through time as well. There are more and more lines appearing by the nanosecond where she comes with us on his second request. So I make the decision where to take him for him and go back to a few moments after we have just left materializing even as he concludes he wants to do so.

When he begins to get agitated as to where to take Rose I suggested the logical, 'why don't you let her choose Theta?' At which I feel the warmth of his agreement to the idea.

When Rose dares him to take her somewhere impressive he decide on the far future, someplace that would make sure she saw aliens. I watch and wait unsure how he will react to her dare, preparing to take Rose back and dump her off if she hurts Theta with her careless words. I nearly do drop her off when he decides with a twist of morbid humor, to show her planet's destruction but as I see his other reasons, I with trepidation comply with his request. I know if Rose can't handle seeing her world end then she can't be the right being, she would never be able to be of any help to him if she can't understand what he has lost. For her it will only be a temporary loss. I worry though how he will handle seeing another planet destroyed. At the same time I know that his choice has as much to do with him facing his fears as it does trying to impress Rose. I carefully monitor him all time as he watches Rose's reactions. I am also observing Rose's reactions as I translate for her as I have always done for his companions. I delight in his delight as he shows off for her and am amused as he thinks to me 'No way she can't be impressed, what with all the 'aliens' here.'

I become wary as I feel Rose begin to grow anxious as culture shock starts to set in, I feel her growing panic as even the things she thought she knew, no longer seem to have the same meaning here. I shift my concentration to Theta as I felt his pang of loss as the steward mentions the dying earth and then I feel his flash of concern as he watches Rose react to the words of Cassandra the stretched skin, trampoline look a like human, began to speak of being the last of her kind.

I find my self reassured a bit regarding Theta as Cassandra makes a joke and disrupts his train of thought, even though immediately after he again notices Rose's unease.

Shortly there after Rose bolts from the room as the surrealness of her situation slams home with the beginning of the and socializing and music which for her is newly released pop music. Theta is hard on her heals until Jade the beautiful tree woman temporarily distracts him by taking his picture. It's just a moments delay but more then enough time for Rose to have run down numerous corridors to come to a halt at an observation window panting as she catches her breath.

'Theta, she is fine' I send to him to ease his worry 'Just a bit of culture shock I am keeping track of her and your presence will not help her right now.' I tell him reasonably, 'enjoy the party I will let you know when she calms down and then you can go to her. I relax as he reluctantly agrees knowing he can trust me to watch out for her. I know the party atmosphere will help sooth and distract him even as the quiet will help Rose. I keep track of Rose and despite a brief spike in her anxiety levels, she is regaining her equilibrium. When she settles down in one of the observation rooms and begins to get bored, I let him know where he can find her.

At first, he is delighted to see her and I relax even more comforted that things seem to be getting back on track. He sympathies with her as she continues to come to grips with the unusual environment she now finds herself in not the first time he has had to deal with this situation after all, even though her distress causes him concern. It is when she asks him where he is from and he freezes for a moment before answering and cracking a joke to try reducing the stress that I begin to get worried again. Now she is asking about language, I feel his pride in my abilities, and feel warmed by his the feelings of happiness. I am pleased that he is letting go of the anger he has been feeling about what I have done recently to protect him.

Oh no she's panicking again, how dare she verbally lash out at him like that! I feel anger rise, and for the briefest moment I am unsure to whom it belongs, him, her or me. She is lashing out at him demanding to know that which he is not ready to give her. I send him comfort but he just gets angrier that I am interfering. I feel him run from her anguished at his need to put physical space between them. At the same time he is trying to put emotional space between himself and the sudden wash of grief that begins to flood through him as he realizes that almost everything that he defined himself by no longer has any meaning to anyone else but us two.

Then she is approaching he licks his lips trying to figure out how to deal with her next demands. I want to protect him want to shelter him from this pain but I have no arms to comfort him and he's made it clear my waves of emotional comfort are not welcome. Then she's there making jokes and I can almost feel the stress wash out of them both as the tension breaks. He blaming himself for her distress, I want to yell at him tell him it's not his fault she can't cope, but instead I watch as he giving her a peace offering adjusting her phone so she can talk to her mum. I feel her emotional broadcasts of her disbelief and joy, and I can feel his sadness knowing that no amount of jiggery pokery will ever let him have even that simple banter she is enjoying. They are worlds apart even though standing next too each other.

Then the whole station shakes setting his excitement levels spiking up as he realizes he has just found a mystery to solve, shoving away more depressing topics from his mind he takes off to find out what the other passengers know.

In speaking with Jade the tree person I feel his attraction to her and Rose's amazement and annoyance when he begins to flirt with the other woman. When Jade starts to try to figure out what Rose's relationship is to Theta his amusement rises at almost the same rate as Rose's annoyance levels. At Jade's mention of maintenance access I can feel him humming with suppressed excitement at the same time I feel Rose decide to make the best of the situation and sate her curiosity that has now kicked into high gear. I sigh with contentment as I realize things are starting to go in the right direction again. It's been a long time since I watch bipeds interact this closely outside of life or death situations and I had forgotten that it could be really fun and interesting.

Theta is having fun bantering with Jabe and solving his mystery and that makes me very happy he really hasn't had this kind of fun in years, in war there is rarely time for fun. Rose too has found her own form of distraction as she takes the trampoline tramp to task over the outrageous lengths she has taken to stay alive and her blatant speciesism.

Figures it wouldn't last, sigh. Why are the bipeds all so nosey? Why is this tree pestering him about his ancestry? I can practically feel his every muscle tense as she starts asking him personal questions. I have to be so careful I have to keep my silence can't let him know how closely I am watching. It will just make him angry if he think I am eavesdropping, but I cannot bear the thought of him needing me and not being there or worse that he would shut me out completely again. NO! I rage silently wanting to yell at her, you're hurting him, why can't you just let this go why are you doing this? He's listening to you but he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to think about this, what purpose does it serve you hurting him like this what do you want from him? I keen to myself in distress, I just want her to stop now before she makes him cry, oh please let her stop! What? She's sorry, she's comforting him, is that what this was all about? There you happy now tree bitch you made him cry! Oh my dear brave Theta! Even when you're hurting you accept her sympathy with grace; instead, you do as you always do, you shut down those emotions that hurt you, you continue to do what you need to do, and move on. Would that I could send you comfort but I dare not, I can't let you know what I felt, you're embarrassed enough by this show of emotions you feel is so inappropriate for a Time Lord. It makes sense you're so attracted to the British with their 'Stiff upper lip' philosophy.

No! Rose! 'Theta, something has happened to Rose'

'Where?'

'She's unconscious, I'm not sure.

'Find her! We have a saboteur on board and I need to find the steward'

I feel his panic rising I even as I search for her; His anger is like a beacon flare in my mind, as he smells the burned flesh of the Steward. He so wants to believe that he's not to late to save him as he scrambles to get the sun filter back up knowing in his hearts that the man is past saving. As you work, you find the system registering another sun filter coming down. He runs for the location indicated by the computer in the hopes that he won't be too late at the next location.

'I have found her Theta she is on an observation deck.'

'Yep me too…' he almost screams telepathically in his stress 'figures she is in the room where the sun filters is coming down!' I feel his panic as he desperately tries to get her out and both their relief when the sun filter starts back up. A bolt of fear from him and fear and anger from her immediately replaces the relief as she thinks he has triggered the filters decent.

He's terrified, and in my fear for him I reach out in a way I never knew I could. I find the time lines that will lead to the reality he wants and needs so desperately. Before I am even completely aware of what I have found I am showing him where to place, his hands to get to the circuits that will push the filter back up and disable any override.

I am stunned I don't understand how I could know, yet I did, never before have I seen specific time lines so clear and precise as they were moments ago. My own confusion almost drowns their relief that she is safe.

As I try to grasp what exactly I did, I sense his mind racing thinking though who might be the saboteur who would have the most to gain and how to find out and make them stop, before anyone else is killed. I feel his cold fury as he discovers Cassandra is behind this sabotage, that this is just a ploy for the rich to get richer no matter how many get hurt. I feel his tremor of fear as Cassandra disables all of the safeties. As Cassandra teleports out, I can already sense his mind again racing for a way out of this mess. Never does he think once of his own well being only of how to save the lives of those on board.

Then he off racing back to the maintenance access corridors, knowing that a full system reboot will be the only way to get the safety systems back on before the sun expands destroying us all. I won't try to stop him from trying to save them; to do so would be for me to ask him to deny his very nature. Nevertheless, I can insure that he doesn't die. Rarely have I gone somewhere completely without his direction but I cannot, I will not let him die. I lock coordinates on him and calculate the last possible moment I can materialize around him before it would be impossible to save him. With that done I wait to see how he saves the day yet again, and when he does he will never know what I have planned.

'No, no, no!'

Theta! I feel his mental screams of anguish as he sees Jabe go up in flames, she believed in him and was willing to give her life to see him succeed. Such trust, and it rips at his soul that he couldn't save her. It is only the sure knowledge that it would waste her sacrifice if he doesn't succeed that keeps him going. Cassandra you will pay for his pain if I have to hunt you down myself to do it. Never have I felt such anger as this and the ferocity of it scares me. I forcefully shove those vengeful thoughts away and focus fully on Theta as I feel him reach into himself and draw on our combined energy. Using that which makes him now unique in the whole of time and space, those abilities, which make him a Lord of Time. The ability to come into sync with the function of time itself, to understand and feel it even as one feels their own breath and step between it's moments, it is in this almost trance like state time itself is his to manipulate. The turbine blades in the ventilation shaft he has been moving though would sweep any other life form from the platform with their speed, but speed is a function in time and so he steps though the wickedly fast moving blades unscathed. He lets go his conscious control and time returns to normal around him as he opens his eyes and lunges for the reset and with but moments to spare he screams "Raise Shields".

I watch though his eyes as slowly he walks back through the now sedately spinning turbine blades. His grief harnessed by the pure, bitterly cold, fury that earned him the names of 'Oncoming Storm' and 'Destroyer of Worlds'; few have faced that anger and lived, and those that did universally wished they had not.

He stops at the still smoking ashes that had once been the tree woman Jabe and that fury grows a few degrees colder. I can't help but wonder what Rose will make of this side of my Theta. Reaching out I find her, she is moving amongst the survivors, shell shocked, stunned by the grief of those around her mourning and still cowering in fear barely believing their luck to still be alive. I realize something unique about Rose, she's empathic. Bombarded with all the emotional and psychic energy of this trip the ability she had which previously had been marginally active, hardly noticeable, has now fully formed. Much to my amazement, she is not freaking out at all the new stimulus.

I feel Rose's concern when she sees him, I sense her feel the energy he is putting off as he stalks over to Jabe's companions and tells them the news of her death. She asks if he is ok knowing without question that this is a man she had never seen before. The doctor she knows, and has trusted on a level she couldn't understand from the moment she first touched his hand is still there but the man now pacing the room is cold and hard and she knows instinctually is very, very dangerous. Rose is not afraid of him for which I am glad, though I can tell Rose is very worried about him. I watch through Rose's eyes how he paces around the room his anger an almost physical presence in the room. I feel Rose's compassion as she watches Cassandra begin to dry out, her stretched skin body unable to stand the increased heat of the room. Her compassion causes her to ask for Cassandra's life even in the face of Cassandra's unrepentant attitude for the people who were suffering around her and those that had died because of her actions.

I can feel Theta's anger even more clearly then Rose and I know there is no pity left him after seeing Jabe die. Jabe had offered him compassion for his loss, and believed in him enough to die for him, a belief in himself he had lost in the face of what he had to do to Gallifrey.

Even though she can sense his anger Rose has no clue how Jabe's death has cut him to the quick once more. Yet, even in the face of his harsh justice and anger, she doesn't want to run from him, she is not afraid of him, but instead she is afraid for him. She understands rationally why he has done nothing to save Cassandra. If there had been any questions left in my mind, these things assure me that she is the one the Guardian had meant.

With Cassandra dead, I can feel his anger beginning to dissolve and his grief emerging. I can feel how he is struggling to come to terms with yet more loss and I pour out all the comfort I can to him as he comes to me for a private place to cry; a place where none but I will see.

Rose was too stunned to do much but stand lost in her own thoughts and sensations one by one the people leave each to their own place. No words were spoken to her and when she actually realizes her surroundings, again most of the people are gone. Her mind is absorbed in all that had happened and she wanders to the tall observation window, and stands and watches the remains of her home float past the exo-glass lost in her thoughts.

Theta cries for a time and as he recaptures his composure firmly shoving away the remainder of his grief his thoughts turn to Rose. I feel his breath catch as he realizes how much time he has left her alone immediately beginning to berate himself for his lack of consideration. I assure him she had not missed his presence and feel a sharp pang of regret lance through him that she has not noticed he was absent causing me to regret my wording.

Moving from my safe confines, he makes his way back to the main observation deck. For a short time, he stands and watches her viewing the burning planet. She turns to watch him approach as she hears his footsteps. I feel the ache of his hearts at her words of mourning for her planet, her feeling echoing our own feelings of loss. Soon the pain grows too strong, and he offers her his hand, which to my relief she takes without hesitation. We know her pain will soon end, as soon as we return to her time, her point in history and her people once again surround her. She can go home again, Theta and I cannot and we are both keenly aware of that fact. So we do that which we can and return to her time, show her that everything is still where she left it, alive and vibrant.

Rose stands for a time in the middle of the walkway taking in the life surrounding her trying to reconcile the life surrounding her and the death she just witnessed as well as the new emotional sensations coming from those around her.

He watches her and I can feel his bone deep grief as deep as sharp as my own at knowing there will be no such happy ending like this for us. His next words surprise me as he begins to tell her of our loss, tells of the only future he can see for us in his grief, that of us traveling on our own.

Her next words surprise us both when she says "there's me" much as I can tell he would like to believe he is forced to say "You've seen how dangerous it is," pausing not wanting but needing to ask "you want to go home?"

If I had breath I would be holding it, and I am afraid to look to see the answer in her mind.

"I don't know," she says causing both of us to cringe. Until that moment I hadn't realize how fond I too was becoming of this young human.

"I want…" She begins to speak again only to take a deep breath and asks, "Can you smell chips?"

I feel his amusement as he replies "Yeah"

Then suddenly I feel his hearts speed up, my own hopes rising with their speed as she states she wants chips before she comes back to join us.


	3. Chapter 03 Tell Me More

Chapter 03 - Tell Me More 

As Rose exited the TARDIS she was again bombarded by thousands of different emotions as she stood in the middle of the crowded London Street. For long moments, she stood just taking in all the life surrounding her in this place that was her home. She knew something had changed when she was on the space station but she couldn't quite take it all in, what with everything that had happened with Cassandra. Strong emotions had seemed to be screaming at her from everyone on the station and she had decided at the time it was because of all the aliens surrounding her. Now, in the midst of an almost entirely human crowd, the sensations had eased but had far from disappeared completely. Some of the strongest emotions she was feeling were from the man next to her. She had never felt such sadness, such almost tangible loneliness; yet somehow everything that had happened had left her without tears, far too stunned.

Now she knew something had shifted and things would never be the same. This alien that she had left with on such a spur of the moment decision had just showed her things she would never have dreamed of before yesterday. Was it only yesterday? She had expected strange and exciting but… Well this had been stranger then her wildest dreams.

Then she realized he was speaking again "My Planet's gone, dead, it burned like the Earth. It's Just Rocks and dust... before its time."

With each short sentence it was like he was ripping out a bit of himself just to verbalize them, to say them out loud, and Rose could feel exactly how much it took for him to speak those words and it hurt a kind of hurt she had never even imagined was possible. I was making her whole body ache just experiencing it second hand; but she had to understand what it was that so tortured him. "What happened?"

"There was a war and we lost." He replied

Those simple words held such pain, a pain that went far beyond tears, a pain too great to be washed away easily by a little bit of salt water. This was a pain that can only be dealt with by numbness and she can feel that lack of sensation spreading outward though her body even as the pain had done moments before, but she can't let the thought go. "A war with who?" When he doesn't answer she just swallows the lump in her throat, she is afraid she knows the answer to the next question. "What about your people?"

"I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone I'm the only survivor. I'm left traveling on my own because there's no one else."

With those last words she feels his grief peak to a crescendo and before she can even think she says "there's me" and knows that even with everything that has happened she can never turn her back on him. No one should ever have to face that kind of grief alone. The feelings she had begun feeling for him almost from that first conversation crystallize and she realizes that, no matter where he is, she wants to be there too; that no matter what, she wants to ease the loneliness and sadness that she can feel radiating from him in almost solid waves. She doesn't know if she can go home again now. Even if she did go back, how would she be able to face her mum, tell her that she was leaving with him? Would she be able to do that without also explaining why, a why she isn't even sure she could articulate to herself. Then, as if he is reading her mind, he says, "You have seen how dangerous it is, do you want to go home?"

Her own mind is astir with so many questions and she doesn't know how to even work her way through them, so she answers him honestly, "I don't know."

Then, trying to formulate questions she isn't sure she knows how to ask, she starts "I, I want…" She takes a deep breath, decides that anything this important needs thinking about over food, as the smell of fresh chips wafts past her senses and asks, "Oh, can you smell chips?" Thus giving herself a way to put space between the decisions she knows she will have to make and the time she needs to make them and well after everything they have just went though he owes her at least a meal over which to think things over.

Then suddenly the clouds of pain are swept away by an unbelieving amusement "Yeah," he says as he begins to laugh, "Yeah."

The relief is palatable and suddenly she wants chips more then anything else in the world. "I want chips"

With a broad smile he says, "Me too."

"Right then, before you get me back in that box chips it is, and you can pay."

He looks amused and states with a laugh, "No money."

"What sort of date are you?" An alien one who has captured her heart and shown her more things then she ever could imagine. Then again, maybe she will buy the chips but she can't resist saying with her tongue poked out to the corner of her mouth making it clear she is teasing. "Come on then tightwad, chips are on me. We only have five billion years 'til the shops close."

She can almost feel the last of the anxiety flowing out of him and smiles widely, with the secret knowledge that it is she that made that happen. She has helped him let go, if only for a time, of the grief she felt so keenly just a few moments before. She couldn't help smiling, almost laughing, at the joy now radiating off him.

It doesn't take them long to find the chip shop and get two large portions. Looking across at this man, this alien, who is such a mystery, she can't help but feel that he would be mystery she could spend the rest of her life deciphering and not regret a minute of the time spent.

The Doctor looks over at Rose, amazed again that this young shop girl has brought a smile to his face, light to his darkness. It never ceases to amaze him how much these humans can take in their stride.

"So Doctor, tell me more about the crazy life you lead and where you got that amazing ship of yours?" She figures these topics should be safe enough, remembering how he lit up at discussing his time ship earlier.

He smiles as he thinks of his beautiful TARDIS and all the wonderful places she has taken him to over the years.

Rose smiles again widely as she feels his happiness, and thinks she could really like this sensing what others are feeling thing.

"Oh, it's absolutely amazing out there Rose! There are stars being born, there are caves filled with the most beautiful kinds of crystal formations, there are pyramids made up entirely of glass on San Clean, and in Barcelona, the planet not the country, there are dogs with no noses, actually to be more accurate no snouts but still funny looking little fellows. Of course there are the more local sights of Australia, Brazil, Greece, could even take you to the first Olympic games if you took a fancy to the idea, would have to figure out the whole you being a woman thing though, they didn't let women into the first games."

The Doctor was practically bouncing now with exuberance and it was so contagious she really did love seeing him like this; as if someone had waved a magic wand and everything became touched with enchantment.

"Then of course there is the far past, how would you like to see a living dinosaur up close?"

"What and get ourselves eaten by some tyrannosaurus rex, or maybe one of the raptor, bird things?" She said waggling her finger at him. "No thank you, don't think I haven't seen Jurassic park, those things can be lethal!" But even with her mock stern words she couldn't help smiling at the idea. His delight was practically tangible now.

"Well if you had been paying attention, you would have noticed there were a lot of herbivores there too. Not all of them were meat eaters after all, impractical that would be, have to have a few to keep everything in balance you know. Then again, we could always go back to the future and see the planet New, New York, they have the most wonderful smelling grass, smells just like a fresh cut apples that does, wonderful place to have a picnic. Rose, you're just going to love it out there!"

"Okay I believe you, so how about this magic box of yours, what about it?"

"Well first of all SHE is not, an it!" he said, stressing the female pronoun, "SHE is a beautiful sentient Time Ship! As to the rest, you already know that TARDIS is bigger on the inside then outside. The reason for that is because she is dimensionally transcendent, which means that her exterior and interior exist in separate dimensions, so her insides are not limited by her outer shell. When everything is working correctly she can look like virtually anything."

The TARDIS can't help to smile at his protectiveness and pride and she too is happy that Rose has him shaken out of his most recent bout of depression, even if he was more then just a bit manic right now.

"Then why does SHE look like a Police Box?" Rose asks making sure she to stressed the feminine designation.

"It's a disguise, but well," he looks a bit sheepish, "She kind of got stuck when her chameleon circuit malfunctioned; really do need to get that fixed one of these days, handy things chameleon circuits. As I had mentioned before, TARDIS stands for Time and Relative Dimensions in Space and she is also telepathic which allows her to translate almost all the languages we are likely to encounter."

"Where did you get her, and if she can think for herself why doesn't she just take off someplace when you get grumpy?"

"Oi, I don't get grumpy, well not that frequently, and I will have you know she likes me very much." He says this a bit indignantly, "'sides, she and I… well we're the last…" He trails off, lost in black thoughts, which descend like a sudden thunderstorm on a sunny day, and he tries hard not to think of why they were the last, as visions of Gallifrey exploding burst into his minds eye, causing him to completely forget his young human companion as he for a few moments becomes lost in a flashback.

Rose watches as his happy delighted mood evaporates and she almost misses his last words in the flood of grief that flows off him. Her breath hitches as she feels the incredible impact of that emotion and decides that maybe feeling others' emotions isn't that big of a plus.

"Doctor?" She says gently trying to recapture his attention.

The Doctor's head snaps up as he feels Rose touch his hand and her calling his name. Looking nervously at her, hoping that she hadn't noticed his wandering thoughts, he plasters a cheerful smile on his face that comes nowhere near reaching his eyes.

"Yes, well, that and TARDIS' and Time Lords have a special relationship. The Time Lords actually created the TARDIS race you see. TARDIS' are not born they are… were, grown and would bond with a Time Lord, usually for the life of said Time Lord. Of course there were always those that, well, just didn't have it in them to maintain that kind of relationship and would always be looking for the latest and greatest model out there, a bit like some humans do with regard to relationships. But me, and she… well she's special, always has been. She's not the latest model," he says leaning forward a bit conspiratorially "she's a type-40, but far better company than a lot of them." Again he has to struggle to push away the grief as he thinks about the fact that there were no longer any others. "Anyway, if you're done with those chips, let's take a look at what else there is out in the Universe." He says cheerfully in order to try to hide how uncomfortable the whole conversation is getting, and that it is causing him to practically itch to get underway again.

Rose has been sensing for the last few minutes how hard it was for him and eagerly agrees. "Yeah, sure, sounds great." She says trying to match his cheerful tone. "Where to now?" Wondering to her self how long it has been since he lost his home while she gathers up her things and disposes of them, trying not to show him how upset she is because of his emotional upheaval.

The thought of that loss making her heart ache, so she takes his hand, hoping that contact will help him feel a little less alone. She doesn't want him to ever be alone again if she can help it, and regardless of what dangers come, as long as she can be there with him, she knows it will all work out.


	4. Chapter 04 Missing

Chapter 04 - Missing 

Wikipedia The Unquiet Dead Episode Synopsis

Rose said, as she watched Charles Dickens fade away as they dematerialized, "It really was so sad. I still don't understand what happened with Gwyneth, but I guess it was like Charles said, there really are more things then we understand."

Rose said, as she watched Charles Dickens fade away as they dematerialized, "It really was so sad. I still don't understand what happened with Gwyneth, but I guess it was like Charles said, there really are more things then we understand."

"But of course," replied the Doctor "What fun would it be if we knew everything?" He smiled as he looked over at Rose. She really was lovely in that dress.

Just then, Rose gave a great yawn and he realized how long it had been since she had rested properly. "Looks like someone needs a lie-down." He said with a smug smile.

"No, I'm fine, honest I…" With that she gave another great, jaw–cracking, big yawn and looked sheepishly over at the Doctor. "Well I guess I am a bit tired."

"Well then, can't be having you all tuckered out. You might as well get some rest before we head off again."

"But what about you Doctor? Don't you sleep?" What she would do if he never needed to sleep and he had no bedrooms in the place? No, in a place this large there would have to be some bedrooms. She had seen dozens and dozens of doors as she had made her way to the wardrobe earlier, to get the gown she was now wearing. At least one of those had to be a bedroom.

"Nah, don't need as much sleep as you lot. I'll be fine, but you go ahead, the TARDIS will show you where you can kip down for awhile." He wasn't going to tell her how infrequently he slept, he didn't need her knowing about his nightmares, they weren't her problem and as long as the TARDIS gave her a room far enough away from his she would never need to know about them. Reaching out to the TARDIS he thought. 'So old girl, you okay with having a human on board again?'

'Of course I am silly, I was the one that suggested you invite her, or have you conveniently forgotten that?' The TARDIS replied with a humorous lilt to her thoughts.

'Well then find her a nice room then and…' he paused, not really feeling he needed to explain his nightmares to her as she had seen most of them first hand already, 'well just don't put her to close to my room will you?' A wave of comfort was her only reply assuring him she understood and agreed.

Rose was fascinated by the expressions playing across the Doctor's face as he spoke with his time ship and realized that she wasn't sensing any emotions that she had already come to expect when she was speaking with others. She wondered if whatever it was had finally worn off and frowned with that thought, it had been nice to be able to sense what was going on even when those feelings weren't the nicest, it made her feel like she was somehow special and unique.

Breaking into her thoughts, the Doctor's words registered "Okay, off with you now, you look like you're asleep on your feet. Put the dress in the hamper in your bedroom ensuite and the TARDIS will take care of the rest. See you in a few hours."

"Doctor," She paused hoping he wouldn't take her question wrong. "Do you think… Maybe… Well I was wondering do you think we could head back to the estates."

Rose's question had taken him by surprise, and he stood there stunned. He had done it; he had lost her. His hearts skipped a beat as these thoughts flew through his head. He should have expected it after all, who would want to stay? She was almost killed every time she went anywhere with him.

At the Doctor's crushed expression Rose hurried to qualify, "Just to pick up a few things, and let my mum know not to worry I mean." She knew that she had read his expression correctly when he immediately broke into a huge smile.

"Well of course," he replied exuberantly, "but get some rest first. Time machine you know, won't hurt none getting a sleep in first."

With that, she turned away and headed off out of the control room. He noted with satisfaction that the wall panels just inside the main door to the TARDIS interior had begun to light up leading her off to a room. He couldn't restrain the reminder to the TARDIS, though; 'Remember, not too close to my room.'

Her reply was an amused sigh and the reply, 'Yes, Theta.'

For a long time he stood there thinking. Rose Tyler really was different from most humans somehow. She just seemed to know when things were dodgy and she stood up to him when she thought she was right. Well, truth told, she had been right. The Gelth had played on his guilt like master manipulators, he had swallowed their bait hook, line, and sinker and poor Gwyneth had paid the price. Yet again, an innocent paid in blood for his mistakes. He knew he should take Rose home and leave her there protect her from the hazards of traveling with him. At the very thought of doing that though his chest began to constrict like there was no longer enough air available to breath. How had this human become so important to him in such a short time?

When trapped and he had just told her she could die in the past, her reaction was not one of panic but one of compassion, for him no less. It truly was something to marvel at that facing death her concern was for him, wanting him to think it wasn't his fault, even though he knew better and that she didn't regret coming with him.

Shaking his head, he chalked it up to yet one more mystery in the Universe and went to work on doing some maintenance on the TARDIS until Rose awoke.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning the TARDIS let him know Rose was starting to wake and he went to the kitchen to prepare some tea and a light breakfast, the smell should insure she got to the kitchen. He figured 12 hours would be a good amount of time for her to have been gone, not so small an amount that it felt truly bizarre for her but not so long that it made people wonder where she had gone to and ask too many questions.

He was to learn yet again that sometimes even the best-laid plans of men and Time Lords sometimes didn't go quite as planned.

As he watched Rose dash off to talk to her mum, he decided to meander around the grounds to kill some time; when a flyer caught his eye. Wandering over, dread began to creep around his hearts.

Somewhere else in space and time a being dressed all in black looked on at the actions of the Doctor and Rose and laughed in evil delight.


	5. Chapter 05 Were Here

Chapter 05 - Were Here 

After spotting the missing person poster hanging on the post he knew that in spite of his care in setting the coordinates on the TARDIS, they have somehow wound up not twelve hours after Rose had left with him but twelve months. Even as he thought through the situation, he was flying toward the stairs to Jackie's apartment. He had to get to Rose before she entered the house and became part of the current events. In his haste, he didn't see the all black dog that suddenly jumped out in front of him, causing him to trip and fall, delaying his progress just a small bit. When he reached the landing and saw the open door he knew he was too late. All he could do was gasp out a warning to Rose that it hadn't been twelve hours as he had thought but twelve months.

In the council estates, it didn't take long for word to travel. Soon as much as Rose tried to explain, tried to calm her hysterical mother, Jackie's distraught screams had someone calling the police and a bobby showed up at the door. If she had had any questions as to whether she still had her new 'gift' it had been squashed in the first few seconds after she had seen her mum and felt the incredible flood of disbelief and joy at her presence which had been quickly followed by fear and fury. The Doctor stood unsure what to do other then to stay nearby in case Rose needed his assistance. He knew if push came to shove he would be able to contact Alistair or Harry and get things cleared up that way but after everything that they had done for him recently he really didn't want to admit he was unable to clear up a simple domestic situation. Even if it had been more then a year since he had seen Alistair by his reckoning, it was just a few days by his own and he needed to handle this without getting Alistair or UNIT involved.

Things were not going well. Twenty minutes had passed and they were no further from extricating themselves from the situation and he just couldn't stand it anymore. He couldn't just continue to let Rose take all the heat. Though when the DCI asked if theirs was a sexual relationship, he just goggled at Rose for a second, realizing how it might look from the outside. They both quickly denied it, as Rose looked uncomfortable and radiated distress at the whole turn of events. Things went from bad to worse as cyclone Jackie wound up and smacked him, nearly knocking him to the floor with the force of her blow. After another twenty minutes of answering questions, the DCI finally left to complete paperwork, having realized that there is not going to be more information forthcoming. The Doctor concluded it was probably best to head out before one Jackie Tyler decided it would be a good idea to slap him again. Quickly he whispers to Rose that he is heading to the roof and to meet him there when she can, leaving Rose to sort out her mother.

As he heads out the door, he can't help but look back wondering if she will come. How long should he wait before leaving, before giving up? He is very surprised by the part of him that says forever.

Rose doesn't take long to extricate herself from her mother; she can't bear to think about that after everything that has happened how he could disappear so very easily. She still couldn't believe her mum had slapped him, and the look on his face... She didn't know if she had ever seen anyone so surprised.

As much as he had worried that she wouldn't come, Rose had worried, he wouldn't be there when she arrived; both being relieved when she opened the door and saw him leaning propped up against the ledge of the roof.

The rest of the day was filled with chaos and excitement as an alien spacecraft came roaring in overhead to crash into the Thames and somehow even the fact that she had been traveling with a nine hundred year old alien seemed to get lost in the resulting frenzy.

As the Doctor informs her that they are stuck watching as spectators they head back to her mum's flat, only her presence at first is enough to mollify her mum and convince her to allow the Doctor back into her home. Not long after Rose gets her mother sorted the Doctor parks himself front and center in front of the telly, and everyone begins to collect at Jackie's, as usual when there is some big news or sporting event is being broadcast. After a time of being asked repeatedly where she has been, and fed up with having to avoid explaining and lying to so many of the people assembled, who she has known most of her life; she leaves the room.

Unable to take the constant questions and the barrage of emotions flowing from those around her anymore she decides It would be a good time to check on some information on the Internet, which would get her away from the descended neighbors. The Doctor, completely wrapped up in the newscasts, won't be going anywhere soon.

After their discussion, the day they had come back from seeing Earth's destruction she had wondered what kinds of effect the things he had said happened to him might have. So she began to look up what information she could find on war survivors and had learned a number of things about how war could affect people. She said nothing to the Doctor, he was after all an alien, and she figured he would just laugh at her. Looking at the events of the last few days, to her dismay, she saw many of his behaviors were common in those having conditions called 'post traumatic stress disorder' (PTSD) and 'survivors guilt'. Which both concerned her and yet at the same time made her feel that he was just that bit more human. She just hoped that some of the symptoms described were actually not present, rather that than he was suffering and hiding from her these problems. At least now, she had a better idea of what the poor bloke might be going through. It also made her all the more determined to ensure he didn't have to face it all by himself, amazed again at how someone she didn't know three days ago has become so important to her. Well she supposed that that was now a year and three days ago, a concept that still felt so weird; she had been gone a whole year to those around her but for her it was only three days.

The rest of the day passed with the Doctor watching the telly and her hiding in her bedroom searching out information on every thing she could imagine that might relate to war, the Doctor and time travel. She was surprised how much she was finding, and she wondered how long he had been visiting this planet. Nine hundred years he said, it seemed so hard to get her mind around that the bloke she had been traveling the last three days with was nine hundred maybe more. Even in the short time she had been traveling in the TARDIS she had already realized how easy it could be to loose track of time.

Suddenly she just needed to be close to him for a bit, and went in to sit with him watching her world change, via the wonders of television.


	6. Chapter 06 Trust

Chapter 06 - Trust

Most of the day, Rose has only been popping out only occasionally to get a cup of tea, something to eat or for the odd moment just to stand in the door and watch the Doctor all focused attention on the telly, never has she know anyone so intense. It is one of these times as she is standing in the doorway as an observer that she realizes the room full of people seems at once comforting and disconcerting. It is comforting to the extent that it is so very normal, other then the whole crashed alien spaceship thing, this is what happens when things happen around here. Everyone shows up at her mums, people eat, drink and talk, sometimes too much; they talk about everything and nothing at all. All the small details of their daily lives, are discussed, commented on and taken apart, and until three days ago her time she would have been right in there telling her stories and commenting on theirs. Now, well now everything is different yet in so many ways the same. She is no longer part of their world and the things she could say of hers would get her locked up in a looney bin. Going to the kitchen, she gets herself another cup of tea, another kind of surreal experience as she mentally enumerates the things that have changed in a year. The house even seems to smell different then it did something she never would have noticed before. As she emerges from the kitchen, she sees the Doctor walking out the front door. With a surge of panic, she plunks her tea down untouched, heedless of the sloshing liquid, and bolts after him.

The Doctor has been watching the telly most of the day; for the most part, he has been trying to tune out the crowd of humans that surrounds him. He listens to the prattle of the humans as a background noise, but try as he might he can't help but recognize how different they are, the things that concern them are pointless drivel in comparison to the life he leads. One part of him envies them that, if someone gets a new dye job everyone notices, unlike his life where decisions of who lives and who dies were daily occurrences. All too often, these choices are not even really anything he has control over, and far too often, his mistakes cost people their lives; take Gwyneth for example. The rift most likely wouldn't have opened, at least not then anyway, if it weren't for his guilt and Gwyneth would still be alive and have a place to work, well not now of course, but then she would have lived out her life as normally as someone with her gifts could. How long would it be before his life killed Rose? His place was out exploring. He should be trying to make up for the multitude of mistakes he has already made and trying harder to avoid making any more. He has to travel, has to continue to fix things as he can. He is the last Time Lord, he had seen to that, a thought that still wrenches at his hearts, just one more reason he shouldn't stay. He owes it to the universe, to try to fix the things the lower species screw up thinking they know about Time and truly understand consequences. Stupid foolish apes, they never seem to learn, to grasp how cataclysmic things can become when you start messing with time. He really should leave. Rose has a life, a home, her mom who loves her; he has no right to steal these from her. It really is best he is off, while he can still leave her behind. It isn't as if he deserves someone like Rose, after everything he's done. She is all innocence and light, and he, well he is the darkness 'The Oncoming Storm', 'The Destroyer of Worlds'... the destroyer of his own people. With his determination set, a weight like the weight of the coat about his shoulders yet so much heavier, much more like the weight of the worlds he is responsible for settles in; he heads for the TARDIS.

Just as the grim depression of being alone descends, like a ton of bricks because he thinks he has made good his escape, Rose comes barreling out of the flat. A look of utter horror on her face and pure panic is radiating off her like a mini sun; each wave of her distress leaching away his resolve like the waves of the ocean eroding cliff walls. It doesn't take long for him to cave in; when he is honest with himself, he really doesn't want to leave Rose behind something he's really is ashamed of, he's a Time Lord he shouldn't need this simple ape; yet he does.

Rose had instinctually reached for the Doctor's feelings as she saw him leave, what she felt had scared her as she knew at that moment he wasn't planning on coming back.

Already she has helped him to find that there really were things that he could be joyful about, her for starters. So, to cover up his embarrassment at being caught sneaking out, caught needing her more then he should, he gives her a lame excuse about things getting too human and a TARDIS key. He knows, in the moment he hands the key over, that he will always come back for her. So, he encourages her to go spend time with her mum. Though dubious at first, she finally goes back inside the flat.

He has after all caused her to lose that year with her mum; it is his actions, which have caused Jackie to worry needlessly, and he know it will be his actions that will take her away from her again. He really can't blame the woman for slapping him, rubbing his cheek with the remembered pain. He had once had both kids and grandkids and he knows with deadly certainty what he would do if someone stole or harmed those he loves, they wouldn't get off with just a slap that was for sure. In one way, he respects Jackie's restraint, yet another part whispers to him that she doesn't deserve Rose if she won't fight harder for her.

He contemplates this as he heads to the TARDIS to check on something one of the broadcasters had said. He has told Rose he was just going for a walk, walking to the TARDIS is a walk isn't it? It isn't as if he's grown wings and is flying there. If he should just happen to check a few thing out while he is there...

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He can't help his amused expression as he looks up at the banner hung outside the council estates that states 'the aliens have landed'. The irony of the sign amuses him, little do these humans suspect that they have had aliens on their planet for centuries, their visits repeatedly explained away while other humanoid aliens like him stroll about unnoticed. They never suspect, never allow them selves to believe, they have not been ready yet. He brakes into a smile as further along he sees the sign hung out saying 'Welcome ET', realizing that most likely the only alien that will see that sign is himself.

As he approaches the TARDIS anticipation builds an exuberant smile bursts onto his face and he can't help a jubilant laugh as he closes the doors and begins to dash about the TARDIS resetting the coordinates for the short hop. Now, over to Albion Hospital to check out the reports of an alien body located there. He just can't stand it, he has to know which species has made such a dramatic appearance, and his curiosity just can't abide waiting any longer.

No sooner has he exited the storage closet that he has parked the TARDIS in than he finds himself, yet again, in an unenviable situation; surrounded by a batch of military types with their guns pointed at him. He really does hate it when this happens, and tries to show he's not hostile by giving them a big cheesy grin. Fortunately, for him, before being forced to explain his presence in a securely locked down location, a scream pierces the air. This is definitely more like it! It almost makes up for having to sit all day a stuffy apartment full of gossipy humans, well almost.

His Unit experience kicks in and he automatically shouts out the command for a military formation "Defense Pod Delta" to cover him as he sets off to discover who is the source of the shriek. Quickly he locates the lab and the lab technician who was the source of the noise. After dispatching the squad to lock down the building, he directs the remaining guard to protect the Asian medical woman. He then goes in search of the alien that he can hear moving about. His interest piqued by the noises it is making he slowly approaches trying not to frighten it, at least he can get this encounter off to a peaceful start. His cheerful greeting of "hello" with a bright smile is unfortunately too much for the creature and it panics.

"Don't shoot!" he yells at the guard that levels his weapon on the pig like creature now escaping down the hall and he sets off in hot pursuit. He knows that if he doesn't get to it first it isn't going survive long with the military force filling the halls.

Too late! Why is he always too late? He rages at the guard that has shot the creature and mourns yet another death, why is it always this way? Why is it the first course of action for these stupid apes is always to shoot first? He gently caresses the pig creature's snout as it dies and demands that they carry it back to the lab; the only information now will be had from the poor thing's body.

It doesn't take him long to realize that the 'alien' that all the fuss is about is no more then an alien augmented pig, but why? Why would aliens fake an alien crash except as a diversion? Rose! He has to get back to Rose; what if they were looking to draw him away, lure him off so they can get to Rose to get back at him in some manner? Panic begins to swell as begins to think of the multitude of races that would see him suffer and he pelts back to the TARDIS to get back to Rose before anyone else can find or hurt her.

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When Mickey sees the Doctor leave, he can't believe his eyes at first. After everything he's been through, and there is the Doctor just wandering along like taking a stroll on a summer evening like nothing has happened; just like he hasn't taken his Rose away. He has to find out what he has done with Rose; he can't stand the thought of being left behind again not knowing. He has red the stories on the Internet he has seen the stories of devastation that always seems to follow him even as Clive had said. Little good it does him running like a manic from his apartment as the TARDIS dematerializes and he slams into the wall. He stands, hoping no one has seen his disgraceful collision. Then he realizes maybe; just maybe that alien has left Rose off back at her mums. He has to hope as he has missed her so, and thus he runs back up the stairs to Jackie's apartment, hoping beyond hope that just maybe she is there.

Mickey bursts into the apartment, and Rose gapes at him, oh God she had forgotten about Mickey. Then he's heading for the kitchen following her mum who has just stalked from the room. She tries to explain but he's just not listening.

WHAT! The Doctor can't have left he gave her a key. He wouldn't, he couldn't have just left her not after everything, she was sure he had changed his mind. She didn't even get to tell him what she felt, why she couldn't live back here ever again. Mickey must be wrong! She runs from the flat, terrified that Mickey just might be right. He was going to leave earlier, she knew that, but he had changed his mind, he gave her a key; she had felt him change his mind, he couldn't have left her.

Horror blooms in her chest as she sees the empty space where the TARDIS was earlier. No! He couldn't… "He wouldn't just go... He promised me," she cries, then cringes when Mickey gloats, "He's dumped you Rose, sailed off into space. How does it feel huh? Now you're left behind with the rest of us earthlings, get used to it!"

No, it can't be, there has to be a reason, "No, he would have said…"

Oh not mum too! Oh great, now she's seen the TARDIS materialize. How in the world am I going to explain that? But, first the Doctor!

He was frantic, he had to know what was going on, who would have had the resources, who could have wanted to make this mess. Flying about the controls, he resets them to the last location as he searches for anything that will tell him what is going on. 'TARDIS is Rose okay? Where is she?'

The TARDIS can feel his panic as he frantically runs about. He is mentally directing her to search databases, satellite imagery and any other references she can find to figure out who these aliens are who have to come to threaten the only other planet he has left he can even come close to calling home. She sends him soothing pulses as she locates Rose bright and shiny in her temporal senses and in no way distressed, by this she assures him she is fine. Even as she feels the Doctors flood of relief and how his mind shifts to solving his mystery she feels Rose's emotions spike in anguish. Touching her conscious mind ever so gently, she sees that it has nothing to do with anything other then the Doctor's absence. She feels Rose's intense loyalty to her Theta as she defends him from her ex-boyfriend and in her panic as she tries to encourage her mom to leave to prevent her from finding out more about him.

Feeling all of Rose's myriad emotions she gently chastises the Doctor for running off, knowing that the fear that someone might have been planning to hurt her is more then enough spur to get him to apologize to Rose for not telling her of his little excursion. She really is going to have to talk to him about how fragile these humans trust can be in the face of the unknown.

Too preoccupied with trying to solve the mystery of the pig 'alien' he never once thinks about how his actions could have damaged Rose's ability to trust in him. Not until much later will he realize how that seed of doubt he has planted today will bear fruit later


	7. Chapter 07 When Pigs Fly & Aliens Come

Chapter 07 - When Pigs Fly and Aliens Come to Downing Street 

As soon as Rose enters the TARDIS he can't help but apologize "Alright so I lied, I went and had a look." Then he is off again telling her about his theories the whole matter of his disappearance already forgotten in his mind.

The TARDIS is not amused by his casual disregard for the incident but she knows it will be useless to try to talk to him now. His mind is awhirl with what they have found with regard to the crash. But decides that she will be talking to him about it once Rose has gone off to bed and contents herself to wait. If there is one thing a time machine has its time.

Things are not going to go quite as simply as the Doctor might have hoped as Mickey and Jackie come charging in after Rose. Rose tries to warn him but his mind is still involved in what he has found almost to the exclusion of all else. He tries to ignore the significance of their presence, tries to pretend that he doesn't have to answer to anyone other then Rose, and hopes fervently that he can ignore them warning Rose "Don't you dare make this place domestic." He hopes that will be enough right up until Mickey begins to shout at him about the chaos that his presence has caused in his life.

The Doctor realizes the sooner he can get rid of them the sooner he can be away from those that could take Rose away from him, so he begins to take out his frustrations at suddenly having to deal with these others, trying to bury the anguish that thought of her leaving causes in an avalanche of words belittling and confusing Mickey. He is brought up short as Rose yells, first at him saying "Don't go anywhere" and then at Mickey as she heads for the door "and don't start a fight."

Stunned for a moment, the Doctor says nothing and just as he takes a breath to yell for Rose, she is coming back through the door asking questions and he lets that breath go unnoticed by anyone other than the TARDIS. He proceeds to rattle off more information on what he has discovered. Content that for the time being he doesn't have to deal with anything other then the problem of the aliens.

The TARDIS is watching and, even though the Doctor is not willing to face what is happening, she knows he is going to have to come to terms with Rose's mum and her friend if Rose is to continue to travel with him. Rose needs to clear the air with Mickey. With that thought in mind she suggests that if he makes some modifications to one of her control panels she might be able to get him some more information. With little explanation he pulls off one of the segments of grilling next to the central console and crawls down to make the suggested modifications.

It doesn't take him long to hear Rose and Mickey beginning to talk and his mind is split between making the modifications and listening to the conversation above, hoping that Rose will tell Mickey that there will not be any chance of her staying. Instead he hears her softening to Mickey's words and can feel the emotions rolling off both Mickey and Rose, knowing exactly when Mickey decides to move in for a kiss and decides it's high time that he put a stop to that.

Jumping back up onto the main deck area, disrupting their conversation, he heads over to view the new results the TARDIS is putting up on the monitor. As he views the data he distracts them from each other, as he explains how the aliens haven't just landed. Now to find out more information on what is currently going on and who may be addressing that issue. He moves over the monitor on the other side of the console to check out the current news feeds halting when he sees some familiar uniforms. "UNIT, United Nations Intelligence Taskforce", as he thinks of Alistair and Harry he continues "good people."

Rose asks quietly at his side "How do you know them?" She is watching his face intently to see if he will admit to knowing them, admit to what she had found out earlier in her Internet searching. She is unsure what she is looking for in his expression and wishes that she could feel his emotions as she had earlier when they were outside the TARDIS.

Mickey answers for him, tells her all about what he has learned in the time she has been gone, and reminds the Doctor painfully of how many have died over the years, reminds him of those he couldn't save.

Rose interrupts his grim thoughts asking "If you know them why don't we go now?"

He chooses to answer Rose's question instead of acknowledging Mickey with more then a quick snide remark.

"The wouldn't recognize me, I've changed a lot since the old days." He pointedly ignores the fact that Alistair would be more then willing to vouch for him, but knowing that the last thing he wants right now is for Rose to meet Alistair. Alistair knows too many of his secrets, knows too much about too many things, for him to want those to two to be talking. He would find some other way to get in contact, to figure out how to help.

Moving around the console, turning on the TARDIS perception filters, he uses that time to begin formulating how to get around the aliens that have an unknown foothold on this planet. On completion of that task he heads for the door. He thinks to himself at least Mickey will most likely have a car and can drive them across town, since the last thing he needs is to get shot before he even has a chance to talk to anyone by putting the TARDIS down in the wrong place. He has already once this evening been face to face with a platoon of gun wielding individuals and if he is going to keep Rose with him he didn't dare risk it again.

As they step out of the TARDIS he finds that maybe he won't have as hard a job at finding someone in charge after all as he watches as soldiers surround them and notes in disgust Mickey running for cover and not making the least effort to bring Rose with him. He watches as the troops deploy, careful to make no quick movements suspecting that, with the array of guns surrounding them and the copter over head, the only thing that he can do is to show them that he is no threat. He can't risk anyone getting trigger happy and hurting Rose.

As they are escorted to the waiting vehicle he notes that instead of the police car that he expected there is a very business like car. He takes a breath of relief as he realizes that they are not looking to take him into custody but that mostly likely they are going to be going to Ten Downing Street to meet with just the people with whom he wants to speak. He is smiling as for once things seem to be going his way. Rose too figures out quickly that things aren't exactly as she expected and she greets his announcement that they are headed for Ten Downing Street with exuberance which just makes him smile even more.

As they enter the anteroom he watches carefully who is entering, dreading that at any moment he may see Alistair come through the door. He is heartened when his old friend does not arrive and they begin to usher them into the conference room. It doesn't take long for his relief to be exchanged by tenseness as they wish to separate him from Rose. It is only when she urges him to go on in that he relents, assuring her that he will get her clearance he enters the meeting.

It doesn't take him long to scan through the briefing papers finding that they do not even know is much as he has figured out. With that he begins to wonder what it is that has brought them here only to figure out too late as one of the aliens begins to strip out of his human disguise. Moments later all of the assembled experts are electrocuted the voltage so strong even he struggles with keeping it from doing him irreparable damage as the sudden onslaught of high voltage brings him to his knees. Prying the electrocuting badge from around his neck he decides what better way to dispose of the device then give them a taste of their own electricity and shoves it against the chest of the closest alien and runs for the door to get the guards.

By the time the Doctor returns the Alien has reinstated it's disguise and he is forced to make a run for it. He has to find Rose and get out of there; if they have taken over the people in control who knows how many other aliens are there in the building. Although it doesn't take him long to be cornered in the hall by the military staff forcing him to retreat the only way he can, via the elevator behind him. He does some fancy talking in order to confuse the guards until he can enter the lift and make his escape. At the first floor he comes to he is faced with yet another alien and quickly closes the door and moves on to the next higher floor, all the while reaching out with his senses, hoping to find where Rose is before the aliens do.

The next floor brings him closer and he quickly hides as two aliens approach from behind him. As he feels a spike of terror from Rose he runs as fast as he can. Grabbing a fire extinguisher he finds Rose and another woman cornered knowing from the positioning of the people in the room she has just made some effort to distract the aliens from Rose, immediately earning her point in his book. Making quick introductions he finds out she is Harriet Jones of Flydale North and they take off running for the cabinet room as she informs him that there are protocols that instruct what to do in the case of invading aliens.

His own doing traps them; he has led them to this place locking the aliens out but in the process locking Rose, Harriet and him in the cabinet room. He has learned some things from the aliens but it will do them no good if they can't get out to stop them.

As he begins to work through what their options are he is distracted for a time by Harriet Jones, something about her is ringing bells and he is not quite sure what as she is telling them of the results of what she has red in the emergency protocols. Nothing in them is going to help; everyone referenced in the protocols is dead.


	8. Chapter 08 WHAT!

Chapter 08 - WHAT!?! 

Rose's phone begins to ring and they quickly find out that her mum and Mickey have been being chased by yet another of the aliens. As Rose is getting the details the Doctor has an idea, not one he likes as it isn't something he can directly execute without Mickey's help but it is an way to get this resolved, to take care of the aliens. As he realizes what the only option left entails the fear begins to build, not for him but for Rose. They are trapped in here and he doesn't know how he is going to get her out of this. He is beginning to suspect that the only avenue that will be left means putting them at ground zero of a rocket.

As he gets Mickey started on the path to getting what information he can from the UNIT site and, if necessary, a rocket launched. Jackie takes the phone and begins to make accusations, make demands shouting, "I've seen this life of yours Doctor and maybe you get off on it and maybe you think it's all clever and smart but you tell me, just answer me this. Is my daughter safe?"

At her words his hearts skip a beat, she is asking the very question that he hasn't wanted to because he knows the answer far too well. No, Rose is definitely not safe, and he is all the more damned because he knows it and can't make himself walk away. He can't walk away from this young human who has given him a small scrap of joy back in his life, a reason to keep fighting. Jackie has no clue how much he would like to walk away from this constant danger, constant repetitive danger that sucks the life out of person after person around him, but if he doesn't face it then there will be no one else to do so.

As he tries to find the words to explain, to tell Jackie what and why he does what he does, what he has to face, letting her know that it is anything but a game to him, Mickey announcing that he has got into the site rescues him. As he accesses the site a repeating signal begins to broadcast through the phone line; there is some message being beamed out into space and he has to know what that is so that he can stop these aliens, stop the disaster that is brewing. But before he can decipher it, he is interrupted by the announcement that the Slitheen has found both Jackie and Mickey.

The next few minutes are tense as he desperately tries to figure out a way to for them to escape, without them everything is lost. Working with Harriet and Rose, tag teaming him with facts they know about the Slitheen, he finally figures out where they come from and what will save them all. Having Mickey and Jackie go to the kitchen he has them assemble anything acidic that they can throw at it to keep it from killing them; based on the information provided by Rose and Harriet he has figured out their home planet is planet Raxacoricofallapatorius and they are composed primary of organic calcium. Shortly they hear the explosion of the alien as it is doused with the acidic bath.

But there is almost no time to revel in their success, he knows they still are faced with the more global problem of their presence on the planet and why. As Mickey and Jackie emerge from the kitchen the TV that was had been left on in the background catches their attention. The Slitheen are making an announcement that the planet is being threatened by alien forces a direct ploy to ensure planetary wide panic. As they listen to the announcement he sees how the pieces are coming together and doesn't like the picture that is assembling and at the same time knowing that he must confirm what he has begun to suspect. Knowing the Slitheen wouldn't have left the room unguarded he opens the door to speak with their guard who confirms his worst suspicions. They plan to destroy the planet with nuclear armaments and sell the resulting nuclear debris to the highest bidders.

He knows now that there are no other options left; he has to destroy them, destroy the entire family Slitheen, regardless of the cost to Rose, Harriet and himself. The hours tick by as he feverishly tries to think of some other way to escape his brain running circles around and around the facts as useless as a hamster in an exercise wheel. Finally he knows that he can delay no longer, hating himself, hating the circumstances that have brought him to having to destroy people he cares about for the greater good. He is faced yet again with the need for the few die so the many will survive. The worst part is that unless he is totally destroyed by the blast he will probably live, being faced again with this knowledge of his own actions, more ghosts to haunt his days. He doesn't know if he can do this again, he doesn't know if he can face Rose's mother. He knows he won't be able to face himself, knowing that because he was yet again a coward and didn't leave her behind Rose died. Yet this is the only choice left and his hearts clench in despair as he forces himself to reply to Rose's desperate cry "if we could just get out of here!"

His words are soft and oh so painfully drug from his lips "There's a way out, there has always been a way out."

In a tone of complete disbelief she asks, "Then why don't we use it?"

He answers not Rose but her mother on the other end of the phone, begging for her understanding, her forgiveness of what he knows he must do. "Because I can't guarantee your daughter will be safe."

Jackie's reply of "Don't you dare, whatever it is don't you dare!" cuts him to the quick.

His reply is strangled and screams the conflict of his soul "That's the thing, if I don't dare everyone dies."

Roses reply of, "Do it!" floors him.

Boggled he says, "You don't even know what it is you'd just let me?"

"Yeah," is her quick reply and he is humbled by her trust, almost struck speechless by her faith in him. He has no clue what has done to engender this complete and utter confidence he can feel she has in him. His mind is reeling as he stares at her.

Jackie's words register as his eyes lock with Rose's across the table. "Please Doctor, please, she's my daughter, she's just a kid!"

As he stares at Rose in continuing disbelief he replies to Jackie, "Do you think I don't know that? 'Cause this is my life Jackie, it's not fun, it's not smart, it's just standing up and making a decision, because nobody else will."

Rose's quiet question amazes him as she says, "then what are you waiting for?" She can feel his hearts wrenching grief, it practically drowning her as it is pouring off of him, the anguish as he speaks each word as he replies to her mum and she can't stand to see him in such pain. She would rather die then see him suffering like this.

His reply, "I could save the world but loose you," flabbergasts her as she feels the incredible need, the incredible love that he has for her and she doesn't know what to say; she has never felt such intense emotions as these, all she can do is stare at him. She has no words, ensnared as she is in his eyes. His eyes pleading for forgiveness, understanding and his needs are practically palpable in the air between them. There they remain caught like flies in amber, each left speechless by the emotions flowing from the other, until Harriet's words break the spell. "Except it's not your decision Doctor, it's mine."

Jackie's indignant reply comes through but it no longer matters to him, the decision has been made and for once he is not then final judge, jury and executioner. Harriet has taken the decision, the responsibility out of his hands and he feels what he considers an obscene level relief that this time he has been spared that responsibly. Rose has accepted him in a way he never thought possible even as deep in the core of his being he rages against himself for feeling joy in the midst of this disaster. Then he shoves away all emotions, focusing on getting the job done; there will be plenty of time for grief and regret if he survives. He quickly works with Mickey to wend him though the screen of the UNIT web page to get to the missile launch controls. He is going to have Mickey launch a missile straight at them and if they're lucky, only if they are very, very lucky, they might survive, but it's the only choice left.

As the missile is launched he stares, knowing that he has almost certainly doomed everyone in the room, and somehow he just can't seem to care that he's going to die. He's been given a trust far greater then he deserves and knows that even if by some fluke he does survive, Rose and Harriet most certainly will not.

Moments later Rose is planning on how they can survive, using logic far better then his own ability to cope at this time and he stares for a moment as Rose and Harriet begin to strip out the contents of a small storage closet trying to remove everything that might get thrown about. He knows he doesn't have time to take down the shelves in the tiny room but everything else is quickly pulled out into the main chamber till all that remains in the small space is they and a few loose papers. Holding tight to each other's hands they prepare for the blast. A blast, which seems like hours in coming but he knows by his inner chronometer is only seconds after they settle on the floor. The next moments are filled with the incredible roar as the missile detonates and sends their small refuge rolling and flipping to come to rest with an ear-ringing bang. For long moments they sit stunned at their own survival, the room pitch black yet amazingly right side up. The Doctor is the first to recover from the shock, his voice cracking as he calls out for Rose, reaching around blindly in the darkened space desperately hoping beyond hope that she is all right. Moments later his groping fingers find warm flesh and he hears the most glorious sounds he thinks he has ever heard at Harriet's moan and an almost hysterical giggle from Rose as she realizes the Doctor and Harriet are alive. Within moments they have determined that no permanent damage has been done and set about finding the access panel that the Doctor makes quick work releasing with his sonic screwdriver.

As Harriet runs off to meet her destiny, the Doctor turns to look at Rose with the most incredibly intense look she has ever seen, his blue eyes almost glittering. Then he pulls her into a hug of gratitude and for a long moment they hold each other in the sunshine, glorying in being alive.

When they let go it's with a new understanding that there will be no letting go, regardless of the physical distance between them. It's something neither of them says, but both know and as they follow in Harriet's wake the Doctor finally has placed where he knows Harriet Jones from, telling Rose of Harriet's near future. When he quits speaking they continue on for a time, walking in quiet companionship. They pause for a few moments at the corner as Rose calls her mum to let her know they are all okay and he smiles as Rose, grinning ear to ear, reassures her that they are well. Moments later Mickey is on the phone volunteering to come pick them up and they agree to meet him just out the cordoned off area, a block down from the rubble of Ten Downing Street.

As they walk to the pick up point Rose is distracted from her own thoughts as she begins to feel his distress; he is thinking about how very close they came to this being their last day together. Knowing already from the short time she has been with him the way he takes on all the grief of the universe for things that go wrong and never any of the credit, she reaches over to capture his hand, giving him a stunning smile.

He looks up suddenly as she grasps his hand and, as he is met with a smile, his own lips curl up in an answering one. He doesn't know how this time he has been so lucky but is grateful nonetheless. As they pull up to the council estates the Doctor gets out, unwilling to go up to the apartment with Rose, knowing she will need some time with her mum. Choosing to pursue his own reunion with the TARDIS after Rose extracts from a firm promise that he won't go anywhere till she comes back downstairs. Mickey decides that he really needs a shower before anything else and he too goes his own way after briefly shaking the Doctor's hand and giving Rose a quick sideways hug to prevent her being smeared with the remains of the Slitheen and vinegar mix that still adorns his shirt.

The Doctor enters the TARDIS with a gleeful delight as he receives an intense psychic hug from her on entering. Leaping about the console he sets about turning off the perception filters and preparing her for leaving, just glorying in being alive and reunited with his oldest companion. For a time he fiddles with her dials and just enjoys the comforting feeling of her presence in his mind. Deciding after a short time that a good cup a tea is just what is called for he heads off for the kitchen. It doesn't take long for him to become bored and he paces for a bit wondering how long she is going to be; the longer he paces the more anxious he becomes; what if her mum talks her into staying? One 'what if?' is followed by another till finally he can no longer contain himself and heads off to the console room to call Rose.

When Rose answers and begins speaking to him of her mum cooking, his fear climbs higher, he has to convince her to come back now before her mum convinces her to stay, so he staunchly refuses to do anything that would include him returning to the apartment. Finally in exasperation he states, "You can stay there if you want," immediately regretting the words as they leave his lips. He hurries to tell her about a beautifulplasma storm in the Horse Head Nebula, painting a picture with words of the incredible adventure that he could show her, at last finishing up with "Your choice" and quickly hangs up. A lump forms in his throat as he realizes with a sudden wave of panic that she might not come. Quickly stuffing the emotion away he focuses on the TARDIS controls as he rationalizes that if she doesn't come it would be okay, she would be safe, and it's not like he needs her to survive, he is a Time Lord and they don't need humans to survive. Even in his own mind his arguments seem unconvincing.

It would take him two hours to get the things he needed taken care of for them to be ready to go. She knows the time frame and if she wants to come she will.


	9. Chapter 09 Dreaming

Chapter 09 - Dreaming br/ 

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Later that evening, Rose had come back to the TARDIS. It had been a very long couple of days with little sleep and it was catching up with her. For a short time she and the Doctor talked about inconsequential things, neither wanting to broach what had happened at Downing Street before the explosion. It had been terrifying and yet at the same time exhilarating and she now knew without a doubt how much he cared. br/ 

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She thought about how he had watched her for hours as he had brooded in the cabinet chambers. She had not realized that he already knew what would probably have to happen yet still he had worked so hard to find another way, a way that would not risk her, even though in the end he had to do exactly what he had tried so hard to avoid. The thought he cared for her that much sent shivers down her spine. No man had ever cared about her enough to even think even for a few minutes, let alone hours, about how to make her life easier. It both thrilled and at the same time scared her how deeply she had fallen for him. br/ 

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When the quiet began to become uncomfortable, she said her good night and headed off to the bedroom she had located before everything had been turned on its head. To her surprise, when she came to the door of the room she found that the door was now made of the most beautiful carved wood. It was adorned by vines of roses of all types and stages of blooming, entwined around both the doorframe and edge of the door. Just at eye-level was the most beautiful spelling of her name she had ever seen. The curves of her name looking like they had been based on some fancy calligraphy writing and appeared to be painted in a sparkling gold finish. For long moments, she just stood there stunned. Had he done this, when, how? At first, she wanted to turn around immediately and return to the control room to thank him for the lovely present but she paused unsure what she would say, and suspected it would embarrass him if she did. Gently tracing her name with a fingertip, she was decided by a huge yawn that she couldn't suppress. br/ 

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She really was very tired and with that, she entered the room only to find it too transformed. It was nearly double in size from the last time she had been in there. A queen size four-poster canopy bed in the right corner of the room had replaced the simple, but extremely comfortable, bed that she had slept in previously. The canopy was of the loveliest shade of rosy pink, the uprights and headboard appeared to be lightly stained oak and carried on the carved rose theme of the door, the wood stain accentuating the carved patterns. The carpet, which had been an innocuous chocolate brown, had been replace by a thick pink carpet with a small round throw near the door side of the bed that looked like one of those fancy Persian rugs she had seen in that shop she had been in once with her mum; again there was the rose pattern. Across from the bed was a beautiful four-drawer dressing table with large Oval mirror also surrounded by the carved wood roses. A narrow bedside table sitting just next to the headboard also sported the same pattern. Atop the bed were two big fluffy pillows and a beautiful pink duvet. The walls were exactly the same shade of pink as her bedroom at home. br/ 

br/ 

She was stunned, the backpack she held slipping to the floor soundlessly, as she stood just in side the almost closed door. Never had she seen a more beautiful room. When finally she snapped out of her shock she went to turn and go thank the Doctor for this but as she reached for the door it pulled itself shut and she felt a strong sense of disapproval. For moment, she stared at the closed door as she realized that the TARDIS was making it very clear she shouldn't. Quietly she turned back to face the interior of the room and said to the sentient ship slowly and clearly, feeling odd speaking to what was visually an empty room. "Please let him know how much I appreciate this." Again that quiet sense in the back of her mind telling her that she was heard and the TARDIS agreed. br/ 

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Looking back at the door she reached out hesitantly touching the door as the idea that she was actually within a living being sank in a bit more, what surprised her was that it just didn't seem as scary as it once had. Turning she took her backpack over to the dressing table chair. She was tired and in spite of the desire to check out every inch of her new domain, she contented herself with quick wash up in the ensuite and changed into her pajamas. Walking over to the bed she gently sat down, knowing instantly it would be as comfortable to sleep in as the small bed it had replaced. It didn't take her long to fall into a deep slumber. br/ 

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The room is cloudy, light seems to come from everywhere and yet at the same time no direction at all. I slowly turn around everything in all directions is a shade of white. I look down to see if where I stand has anything different to offer. The "floor" is of the same nature as everything else around, but I find my first glimpse of color. A luscious intense blue that seems to shine of its own accord, from the tips of my shoes that peek out beneath the full skirt of the dress I am wearing. I look down my front to find I am attired in a dress, low cut at the bodice and I feel it is backless. My hands are in cased sheer pale blue gloves that end at the bend of my arms. br/ 

br/ 

I spin about just for the feel of my dress swishing about my legs. As I complete my turn, I see a man in a black suit in the distance with his back to me. From his stance, I feel I know him from somewhere. His hair is black, with a short military cut and, as if on cue, I hear music begin to play. The tune seems familiar and soothing and I place it as a waltz. br/ 

br/ 

I take but one step forward, but the next moment I am behind him, he turns as if expecting me and slightly bows at the waist, putting his hand out for mine. I take it and step forward into his arms. As we dance, I look him over, trying to place where I know him. He has intense blue eyes, black hair forming a small widow's peak on the center of his forehead and ears that are a bit too noticeable because of his severe haircut. Then he smiles at me with a huge gin that speaks of great delight and his eyes seem to twinkle with hidden humor, which only makes me smile back unable to deny him any kind of happiness as I sense he often is not as happy as he pretends. br/ 

br/ 

His features are not that of a young man but pleasant to look upon, his body is solid muscle, muscular but not muscle bound. He exudes a strength that seems to go beyond his physical form and moves with the limberness and grace of a professional dancer. We glide about in the soft cloudy white, our bodies in sync with each other and the music. I feel so content to move in his arms, like this is where I have always wanted to be. I feel his sturdy warmth next to me and I shiver with delight. He pauses with concern in his eyes and find I can do nothing but smile back at him at his consideration and lean into his warmth putting my head upon his shoulder and close my eyes. His strong arms surround me and as he pulls me a fraction closer, I smell leather and that scent that is so uniquely and wonderfully him. This feels so right, but I also feel that there should be something more. br/ 

br/ 

The music stops and I cringe at the thought of him leaving. I look up into his eyes as he steps back and they mirror my own. Our eyes remain locked and without a word, he leans in to capture my lips. His lips are warm and soft, so gentle yet firm, his arms pull me in tighter and I feel like I am melting at the heat of his touch. br/ 

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Hours later Rose wakes with a sob as she remembers her dream and knows it was just a dream regardless of how sweet. As the pang of loss lessened she was glad to see at least the beautiful room she had been given wasn't as much of a chimera and so maybe some day her dream could come true. br/ 

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	10. Chapter 10 Aftermath

Chapter 10 - Aftermath 

Wikipedia The Clockwise Man Book Synopsis

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Wikipedia Dalek Episode Synopsis

Adam entered the TARDIS and no sooner than he stepped within the doors then they closed behind him. For a long time he just stood inside the doors, his mind scrambling to take in the environment that now surrounded him. The room was much larger then the small box he had entered, there was a pleasant spicy smell, and the odd grinding noise that had enticed him to enter. "It's bigger on the inside," he says, stating the obvious, dumbfounded.

Rose leaves the Doctor's side to talk to Adam, to try to get through to him; she can feel he is on the verge of panic. His sudden realization that he is in a very alien environment is leaving him stunned and even without her new talent his anxiety would be obvious from the expression on his face. "Adam it's okay," she says as she gently takes his arm and leads him up to the walkway to the main console.

Rose can guess the expression on the Doctor's face at Adams comment, which prompts a small smile. It had been something they had laughed about early on as the Doctor had told her it seems like virtually every one other then the Time Lords have made the same comment, she knows she did, when she first saw the place.

Adam is looking around, his eyes wide. As he begins to acclimatize to the new environment he begins to ask questions. "How… where… we're not still in the base are we? She said cement you know."

Looking up annoyed, from the console the Doctor addresses the last question, "And you're supposed to be a genius? Don't be daft, of course we're not!"

"Then?"

"He's your boyfriend, you straighten him out Rose," The Doctor snaps in irritation, immediately regretting it when she looks furious.

"He's not my boyfriend! Come on Adam, let's leave Mr. Grouchy to his sulking." Giving the Doctor a glare she leads Adam from the control room. She is not sure that she likes the feeling of satisfaction she gets from Adam at seeing the Doctor and her snipping at each other.

---------------------------------

Rose was furious with the Doctor for his comment about Adam. Didn't the Doctor know how much he meant to her yet? But even as she began explain to Adam about what the TARDIS could do, how beautiful and wonderful she was, she couldn't help but remember the look of horror on the Doctor's face when she had asked him what he was changing into. She had been scared and angry, the emotions of the Dalek behind her swamping her senses with its confusion, grief… fear blaring in her mind. His bolt of shock had been like an ice bath as she had said those words. She had regretted them immediately as on a wave of emotion she had felt how incredibly devastated he was by them. Her confident courageous Doctor had been reduced to sputtering out bits of sentences. When then Dalek asked him why they survived the flood of grief that those words brought had almost brought her to her knees.

"Rose?"

"Yes, sorry Adam it's just been a long day. Here we are, a nice room near the kitchen; figure that should make it simpler for you to find us in the morning. You best get some rest; days tend to get a bit long travelin' with him," she said, gesturing vaguely in the direction of the control room.

"But…"

She could feel a swell of disappointment from him and no small amount of frustrated lust, which made her feel distinctly uncomfortable. "Good night Adam," she said firmly but politely. "Don't wander off, this place can get a bit confusing and it's really pretty easy to get turned around." She tried to reiterate her lack of interest with the subtle and gentle warning not to try to follow her.

"Yeah, right then, see ya' tomorrow." With that he turned and entered the room to which she had pointed.

Rose turned her back on him and headed into the kitchen. There were too many thoughts still swimming around in her mind and she wanted a cuppa before she headed off to bed. She also thought that it wouldn't hurt to bring the Doctor a cup to as a peace offering.

It didn't take long to make up two cups of chamomile tea and she headed off to the control room.

The Doctor is surprised as she enters and that by itself tells her how upset he still is; he almost never misses her entering, doesn't miss much of anything actually. The words between them are brief and she can tell by just the way he is warily standing near the console that her presence is making him uncomfortable. She finds herself wishing again that whatever it was that cut off her ability to read his emotions in the TARDIS wasn't there and wonders again whether it was something the TARDIS did or whether it was something he did when in the TARDIS. Some day, when she got the courage to tell him about her newly developed talent, she would ask him.

Returning to her room, she was reminded of wonderful the Doctor had been to her, how he had let the Dalek out even after everything he had told her the Daleks' had done to him and his people, just for her. That thought scared her, that she had that kind of effect on him. The Dalek was dangerous; it had killed hundreds of people without so much as a thought. Was what the Dalek said true? Did the Doctor love her? Yet he had locked her down with it, expecting it to kill her. Sometimes he confused her so very much.

Then the vision of his face as he stared at that Dalek renewed it self in her minds eye, that look of pain, anger, even a strong measure of hate, and the feeling that was the worst of all, of devastating loss that felt like her soul was being ripped out. The memory makes her wonder if she had ever really understood what loss was before today. Yet he was still able to have compassion for it when he realized how it had changed and even though that change had saved her life, he was able to understand how horrible it was for the Dalek to no longer even have its most basic identity intact. Ultimately that was why, when it demanded her to give it the order to die, she had relented. Not only was she feeling the horrible loss and pain it felt at no longer knowing what it was, but the Doctor's grief and sympathy for that slimly white creature that had never before even seen the sunshine. Between the two of them it was too much. She was almost crying by the time it had stuttered out in its inhuman mechanical voice how repulsed it was at the very idea of being something like her, once again demanding she give it the order it seem incapable of acting on without her.

As she had run back to the Doctor's side she felt how stunned he was by the things that were transpiring. Then the crushing grief he felt as she suspected he was reliving that final battle between his people and the Daleks, and the relief and disbelief that it was finally over. She had so wanted to take him in her arms and hold him, tell him everything was going to be all right. But part of her knew that for him it would never be truly all right again and that it didn't matter that the war was finally over, that he had won. What he had lost was far greater then the closure of seeing the last of his peoples murderers die.

Finally all she could do was take his hand and lead them back to the TARDIS so that they could leave this place of such death and destruction that had ripped open old wounds. It made her wonder again exactly how long it had it been since the war for him.

Looking around her beautiful room that the Doctor had given her she finally could stand it no longer and let the cavalcade of emotions that had run roughshod over her overtake her, sliding bonelessly to the floor on the rose motif carpet in front of her bed and crying.

For a long time she cried, gently rocking herself, her knees tucked up under her chin and her arms wrapped around them with her back partially supported by the bed.

She cried for the Doctor, cried for the Dalek, cried for herself, cried for all the men and women who had died trying to fight to stay alive. She cried until she could cry no more and, exhausted, she finally dragged herself from the floor and into the ensuite. Finding comfort in the large warm shower and the soft warm oversized towels hanging on the rod by the shower tub. She was so exhausted that she barely noticed the beautiful surroundings of the rose shaped marble sink, and it's large matching rose rimmed oval mirror that hung over it. She took comfort in the familiar smells of her soap, shampoo and conditioner that she didn't remember unpacking the night before, yet there they were sitting awaiting her use on the shelf in the shower. Best of all though was the wonderful comforting presence in her mind that seemed so very much like it belonged there.

Exhausted, she finally emerged from the shower to crawl into her bed and very quickly fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

-----------------------------------------------

The control room was quiet. Rose had taken Adam off to find a room and had then retired to her own. For a long time, all he can do is stare at the central column gently moving up and down. His mind chained to thoughts of the day's events. From that first uneasy feeling he got when suddenly the signal appeared on the TARDIS monitor indicating a distress call, to his inability to identify the sender and finally to the deadly events that happened because he investigated. The words of the black guardian so many lifetimes ago choosing that moment to come and haunt him, 'You have made such a perfect agent of Chaos, your actions are forever bring destruction to everything you touch'. Never had those words seemed so true as they had this last couple of months. He was the 'Oncoming Storm', 'The Destroyer of Worlds' and the downfall of his own people. Time and time again, in spite of his best intentions, he was the harbinger of death and destruction. He had very good reasons when one day he had told Karl Marx that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Reaching to adjust a dial, he cringes as he rotates the muscle in his wrist. He knows he should do something about the bruises but the pain reminds him he is alive, alive when so many people are not. What makes him better then them? Why should he be the one that survives repeatedly, what kind of galactic irony it that? He thinks bitterly. The Time Lords are now all gone but for him, and such a poor example he is of a once great people. True many of them had codified their existence into emasculation and stagnancy but that didn't change what they had once stood for, didn't change that they had keep a reign on the out of control races that would try to manipulate time for their own gain, not caring about consequences they could neither see nor feel. One of the greatest crimes to a Time Lord had been to change history for your own personal gain. True, his people considered him a meddler, but he held true to just fixing the things that had altered time from what he knew was the proper course. He could feel the river of time as surely as any other Time Lord could and they all had known when someone had tampered. Just so many had decided that unless it was something drastic that they shouldn't get their hands dirty. Let the lower races straighten out themselves. Too many Gallifreyans had abdicated their responsibility to the time stream and so the rebels, the outcasts, were responsible for taking care of the dirty work; the things the elite had considered too far below them to address. That way the council could claim deniability and maintain their clean hands and more then once they had penalized him for doing what they all knew needed to be done.

It didn't really matter now. They were gone, and yet he continued on in spite of his best efforts. A wave of resentment at that thought prompts him to give the TARDIS a sharp bang with the nearby mallet. Her response is typical; she gives him a good solid shock for his lack of gratitude. It was no use; this morbid contemplation. In disgust he throws the mallet over at the jump seat and stalks from the control room, going in search of where Rose had stuck the pretty boy, thinking that it is probably for the best if he knows where that one is. He thinks Adam will most likely be just down the hall from Rose. He really wouldn't be surprised; he was smart, well for a human, and Rose seemed taken with him. She really did seem to like the pretty boys; he could tell by the looks she would get on her face when one appeared. He was still trying to figure out why she had wanted to stay with him after everything that had happened. Maybe she just hadn't asked yet to be taken home, or maybe she would want to be dropped off with the pretty boy some place. That thought made his stomach hurt. Just thinking about Rose with that one causes anger to boil up as he recalls how Adam left her behind to the mercy of the Dalek.

The Doctor finds Adam's room and is surprised; it isn't anywhere near his or for that matter Rose's rooms He notes with amusement and a bit of disquiet that the TARDIS has moved the room down to a level with no elevator access, causing it to only be accessible by stairs, and has sandwiched the room between a broom closet and the smallest bathroom he has ever seen provided by the TARDIS. The fact that it didn't open into Adam's room would be something he was to hear about annoyingly and at length about the next morning over breakfast. However, he found it both found interesting and concerning that the TARDIS had treated Adam in that way. The TARDIS did not take a disliking to someone without good reason.


	11. Chapter 11 Hurts & Exposure

Chapter 11 - Hurts and Exposure 

His room is dark and silent, no sound but for the quite hum of the TARDIS as she floats in the Vortex. He sits in his bed curled around himself, gently rocking. Not since he left Alistair's has he felt so gutted. He is exhausted yet all he sees when he closes his eyes are the dead and dying. The ghosts that have tormented him and at the same time have kept him company since the day his home planet died. True, there have been the occasional times in the weeks since Rose came that he has actually been able to sleep for more than short stretches but the events of the day are too fresh and raw. The dying Dalek restored by Rose's compassionate touch; the uncounted dead because of Van Statten's selfish greed and unwillingness to listen and as always the aching silence in his mind where once his people were.

He cringes at the thought of the excruciating pain of Van Statten's tests. Intense stabs of pain still spasm throughout his chest, shoulders and arms as he rocks, his body urging him to be still, to rest, yet his mind drives him; exacting the punishment, he feels he deserves. He welcomes the pain, as he knows he deserves every ounce of it for what he has done. Two rocks, two lances of pain for locking Rose in with Dalek, another for letting the Dalek out, another two for pointing a gun at Rose, another set for his selfishness, another and another for each way he feels he has failed 'til he can barely separate each surge of pain as he forces his body to move. Finally, he is halted in his self-flagellations as his chest spasms so tightly that he can barely breathe for a few moments.

He rolls from the bed, his body shaking, he can't stay here anymore; his mind is far too noisy in the quiet. He staggers to the bathroom, leaning for a moment in the doorway to catch his breath again. The man who greets him in the mirror is as pale in the face as a ghost, but it's his body that speaks even more loudly of his hurt. He is naked from the waist up, his chest and shoulders covered with webs of bruises. His wrists are surrounded by wide bands of purplish blue caused by the manacles that had secured him to machine after machine as Van Statten electronically worked at dissecting him; all that pain just searching for secrets from his physiology that could be profitable. For a long time he stands leaning, hands braced on the edge of the sink, gripping it far tighter than is needed to support his body upright. His eyes are locked on those of his reflection as if some how he might, if he looks hard enough, see what it is that Rose sees in him that makes him putting her life constantly in jeopardy worthwhile. He wants to believe there is something there that he cannot see, but can't fathom what it may be. He wants... needs to believe there is something, yet all he can see in those eyes is blackness far darker then the bruises that adorn his body.

He wants to be clean, and seeks out his shower hoping that somehow in this simple act he may wash away the taint on his soul. He wants to wash away the belief that somehow he might have something to give this young human besides an early grave, for hope, he decides is too heady a concept for one as sullied, as undeserving as he. He climbs in the shower and turns on the water as hot as he can, maybe he can burn out this foolish hope with boiling water. The TARDIS will not oblige and the water, while hot, is nowhere near scalding. For a long while, he stands with his forehead and hands bracing him up under the water that stream down his body. He then scrubs at his skin; heedless of the hurts his body is already sporting, until it is almost raw. So pointless, no matter what quantity of water, he knows he shall never be clean, so he just gets out, dries off and puts on his pajamas again.

Looking longingly at the bed, he shakes his head grabs his pajama top and goes for a cup of tea. As he moves down the hall he notes that Rose's room is now two doors down from his own and wonders what has prompted the TARDIS to move her room. He had made himself clear when Rose had first came on board that she was not to be close enough to be disturbed by his nightmares and yet again resents the TARDIS' newfound independence. Entering the kitchen, he stands in the doorway, pausing to think of all the companions with whom he has shared this four-person table. He can mentally enumerate the different ways they have all left him, they always leave him no matter what they say, too many times the choice is made for them by time or death. Morosely he moves to start the tea, going through the motions more for something to do then a burning desire for some of the hot beverage. Just as he decides, he is going to turn the pot off and leave he turns and spots a sleepy Rose Tyler standing in the doorway.

"Rose?" he said at her unexpected presence "What brings you here at this time of night?"

"Just thinking and decided I wanted some tea." She says, as she can't bring herself to tell him that it was hearing him moving about and the almost overwhelming grief she has been feeling from him that had awoken her. These past few weeks she has come to the conclusion that whatever allows her to tune into his and other peoples feelings when they are outside of the TARDIS doesn't usually seem to work while within it's walls. She has also come to suspect it is the TARDIS that is shielding her from picking up his feelings most of the time. Whether that is for his benefit or hers, she is not usually sure, thought tonight she is sure that she felt his emotions due to his great distress. It was also not lost on her that when she had exited her room the hallway contained another door she had never seen before which, she was positive, must lead to the Doctor's room.

Concerned at what she may be thinking he pauses, reluctant to ask, so instead states, "Just put the kettle on, it should be ready soon."

"Doctor, I was thinking, why did they do it?" she says as she sits at the table watching him rummage around the cabinets.

Confused at her question he momentarily looks over and asks, "Who do what?" then, unwilling to meet her gaze, he returns to looking in the cabinet for the double size cup he purchased for Rose when she had fallen in love with it while on a shopping trip. The rose bloom shape of the cup, she had said, fits in her hands perfectly and warms them up nicely.

"Why did the Daleks choose to live like that?"

"They didn't so much decide as they were bred like that, bred to fight in a war on a contaminated planet that had known only war for centuries. Daleks weren't the original inhabitants, only what was left of them after everyone else was dead."

The silence continues as she takes in that information and tries to figure out how to broach the topic of what happened at Van Statten's underground base. She had both seen and felt how much anguish he felt as he confronted the Dalek. Nevertheless, she couldn't let him kill it even though the Daleks were the cause of him losing his people. She had felt the Daleks emotions too, confusion and fear and yes, grief at the loss of its purpose in life. These were all things that she had not sensed in the beginning; at first, all she had felt was pain and anger. At the time she had thought the anger was at the man that had been torturing it, but she came to realize, as it was chasing them, that hate was the only real emotion it had previously. She understood that to the Doctor facing that Dalek was much like a holocaust victim being closed up with a Nazi, but she also knew how much he regretted seeing anyone die and how it tore him up when he mentioned someone who had died on account of something he did. She wouldn't let him carry yet one more death on his conscience.

He sat across from her and thought how young and beautiful she looked sitting there in her pink pajamas. How could he have ever thought it would be okay for her come with him? He knew better, knew that his life tended to get people killed. Yet, in spite of that, he dreaded the thought of being alone again; couldn't bear the thought of making her leave.

As the teapot announced its readiness, he got up and filled their cups. Bringing them over he put his down and handed Rose hers. As he turned to go get the cream she reached out for his wrist to restrain him, she jumped as he jerked back, her clasp causing him unexpected pain.

"Doctor, what's the matter?" she said, concern evident in her eyes.

"Nothing." he replied a little too quickly, making Rose immediately suspicious.

"What's wrong?" she said just as she noticed the edge of the spider web of bruises at the neckline of his pajamas; which immediately redirected her eyes to the hand he had snatched back so unexpectedly. Her eyes widened in surprise and alarm as she spotted the edge of the dark blackish purple bruise previously hidden by his cuff. "Doctor, you're hurt!" she said accusingly, daring him with her eyes to deny his injury. "Why didn't you say something?"

Backing up out of her reach he crossed his arms against his chest, as both a barrier and means of hiding his injured wrists, as he neatly folded them up under his upper arms, "It's nothing!" he repeated as he continued to back up.

Giving him no time for further denials, she launched herself at him, plucking at the front of his pajamas exposing more of the bruises on his chest. "Just like these are nothing I suppose?"

Grabbing at the neck of his pajamas to prevent her from seeing anything further, he exposes his other wrist to her scrutiny, realizing his mistake a moment too late and moving his hand behind his back.

"Med Bay, NOW, Doctor!" she says, curling her small hand in his shirtfront to both restrain and drag him towards the door. She was mad not just at him but herself. She knew he wasn't good at seeing to his own injuries she had learned that after Big Ben where he had been peppered by flying glass. He had insisted on seeing to everyone else before taking care of himself in spite of the lingering mud that could have so easily started an infection, and his hand… true by the time they had got to a proper clean up it had made a fair amount of progress in it's healing but she had been surprised he hadn't at least taken some precautions to keep it clean.

"Rose," he begins, as he digs in his heals, temporarily stopping her forward momentum, "It's okay, you know I heal faster then you do, really it's fine," he tries to convince her. The idea of her seeing the full extent of the bruising, exposed to her physically, just as he was earlier exposed emotionally, scares him.

The glare he receives in return would have done Jackie Tyler proud and between that and her unrelenting grasp, he must capitulate or risk hurting her trying to escape. Resigning himself to the fact she would have his shirt off shortly, he tries to think of some reason for him not healing his injuries, even as he has done for other small wounds in the past.

In spite of everything that has happened, he doesn't know if he can yet explain to Rose why it hurts so much knowing how he has repeatedly failed those that depended on him. How is he to explain to his sweet innocent Rose? How can he explain what it means to know you're responsible for the death of every one of your species? When they had talked that second day they were together, he had been careful not to tell her whose fault it was they had died. He had just told her they were gone, destroyed in the war, he couldn't face telling her what he had done then and he knew with equal certainty that he would be unable to now. Even then, he had felt a connection with her and he was terrified to tell her his darkest secret. He knows it would destroy him if she turned her back in disgust and fear and walked away, or worse ran away from him. How far the mighty Time Lord race had fallen that he was its only representative and was cowering in fear of what a nineteen-year-old human would think of him; Rassilion would be spinning in his tomb if he still had one.

It doesn't take them long to get to the med bay and he curses at the TARDIS for keeping it so close. 'So what do you want of me now TARDIS? Do you enjoy humiliating me?' he practically shouts his thoughts at her, yet again finding it easier to be angry then to deal with his other feelings.

'Theta, you need to heal those injuries and using them to torment yourself is not going to help anyone. It won't bring anyone back, and it won't change what has happened.'

His response to her words is a non-verbal sulk that clearly conveys he thinks that she is meddling where she shouldn't.

Rose, not party to the non-verbal conversation that was going on between the Doctor and the TARDIS, begins to feel the anger in the Doctor rising and wonders if she is pushing too hard by the dragging him by the shirt front. She stalls in her tracks as she catches the TARDIS' emotions and the sound of her background hum changes. Fortunately, for her the medical bay is close and the Doctor seems too preoccupied with his internal conversation to realize that she has come to a complete halt.

Rose consciously takes the next few steps that take them to one of the medical beds, stops again and makes eye contact with the Doctor. She can see the anger in his eyes but she knows she has to know how badly he is hurt. More then once she has seen him ignore his own injuries and is very concerned that he is so reluctant to take care of himself. Screwing up her courage in the face of his anger she says, "Doctor you're hurt, I want to help but I can't if you won't let me." Looking at him with pleading in her eyes she hopes he can see and not deny.

Looking into Rose's beautiful brown eyes so filled with compassion and concern he feels like a stupid ass for even going anywhere she might be, she didn't have to see this, didn't need to know what Van Statten had done. It would have been far better for her not to know. Unfortunately, now because of his carelessness, she does know. After everything he has done to her today, he can't deny her but he doesn't know how to proceed and breaks away from her gaze.

Rose breaths a sigh of relief that he hasn't blown up at her for dragging him in here and when he can't hold her gaze and feels a wave of embarrassment from him, she steps forward and gently begins to undo the buttons on his top. Talking to him quietly and cautiously like one might a skittish wild animal. "Doctor, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to see what I can do to help."

As she begins to undo the buttons, he doesn't fight her, though his hands unconsciously begin clenching in the sheets on the bed he is sitting on, his body a study of tensed muscles and restrained motion. He can't help but feel shame at his own stupidity, she has found out and he hasn't been able to protect her from the ugly knowledge that Van Statten had tortured him. As her nimble fingers undo the second button, he feels her stiffen as she sees more of the bruises covering his chest and shoulders, and her delicate touch to the center of his chest causes him to shiver slightly.

"Does it hurt much?" she asks quietly. When he doesn't answer, she doesn't push him to do so; as she can still acutely feel the shame and embarrassment that this situation is causing him. Deciding it will probably be best to get though this as quickly as possible, she rapidly unbuttons the rest of the shirt buttons and gently eases off his shirt conscious of how such extensive bruising could be painful with twisting, and trying not to cringe as she sees the full scope of the bruises.

He can't answer as she speaks to him, he doesn't dare. Her close proximity is doing things to him that keeps him frozen. Here she is all concerned about him being hurt and all he can think about is her soft hands and how gentle her fingers are as she takes his shirt off. He hates himself even more for these feelings. After everything he has done, how can he even think she would want someone as damaged as he, she can't know how the gentle brush of her fingers is setting his blood on fire. It is just wrong!

Frequently since his confession in Ten Downing Street, she has wondered what he would look like wearing less clothing. She has not though envisioned this kind of circumstances under which she would first get to see him without both jacket and jumper. Looking at the damage, she wants to cry. "What did he do?" She bemoans quietly.

Her words lead his own thoughts; he has nearly gotten her killed today again that is what he has done. This time it was by locking her in with a Dalek. Had she yelled at him for sealing the vault? Had she cried and bemoaned her fate? No, instead she had told him she didn't regret any of it; she tried to comfort him tell him it wasn't his fault. She hadn't blamed him, in fact she had begged him not to open the vault when the Dalek had demand he do so; even though to refuse it would mean her death. He didn't deserve her compassion; she would be dead if it hadn't been for a quirk of fate that had resulted in the Dalek's mutating. Again, he was the coward, she was willing to give her life to protect others and he had been only able to think of himself and of how he would feel if she died. The Dalek had seen right through him when it had asked 'What good are emotions if you won't save the woman you love?'

Quickly she turns to the drawer where the dermal regenerator he has just recently taught her how to use is stored in order to prevent him from seeing how close she is to crying. How can she have been so stupid to let Van Statten hustle her off with Adam? She had said herself when they saw all the alien artifacts that him being a living alien would make him exhibit A. Oh God! What if it was her comment that prompted them to hurt him? "Oh Doctor I am so sorry!" she blurts out at that thought.

Shaken out of his thoughts by her sudden exclamation the only thing he can think is, "What in the universe for? It wasn't your fault that we were there! It's I that should be apologizing to you!" He says almost sobbing. "I should never have taken you away from London, if I had left you there you would still be safe with your mum, not getting locked in with a Dalek, a mad man and an alien in an underground bunker on the other side of the planet."

The flare of anguish Rose feels from him astounds her. Without thinking, she puts down the regenerator and clasps her hands around his face, finger tips barely brushing his temples as she forces him to look her in the eyes. "Doctor I wouldn't want to be anywhere else! I don't regret one moment of the time we have had together and I never will!

Neither of them expects the force of the connection she unwittingly creates. The explosiveness of her passionate statement blasting into his mind even as moments earlier his anguish had pushed itself in to hers; the results leave them both shaken.

He just stares, stunned, at her even as she does at him; the feeling of shock at such an intimate mind to mind contact leaving them both unsure what to say next. Frozen, as they are, the connection remains intact as each slowly collects their wits.

Rose feels the shocked surprise from the Doctor and her eyes involuntarily glaze over and close as she feels his mind moving at a frenetic pace trying to figure out how she has made this connection; the scurrying touch of his thoughts causing her to shiver; and the sensation makes her tremble with pleasure. Never has she felt anything like this before.

He doesn't know what to do. His first impulse is to start to shove her out of his mind, but the wave of pleasure that immediately follows Rose's initial shock make him too close his eyes as her mental presence flows over his mind like a soothing balm, the sheer pleasure of touching another mind like this again is too much for him. He gasps and shakes violently, wrenching himself away from her touch. All he knows is he has to get away and he pushes away from her stumbling as he bolts for the door completely dazed. He can't contaminate her; or sully her with his darkness. There is no way she can know how to do that, yet some how she has breeched his defenses. His rapid staggering flight comes to an abrupt halt as he runs full tilt into the frame of the door, the force of his impact knocking him out cold.


	12. Chapter 12 What Happened

Chapter 12 - What Happened? 

Rose stands a moment, shocked by the sheer panic that jolts across her senses as the Doctor bolts away from her. Her mind is reeling at his self-loathing, only to come snapping back to reality at the harsh bang of the Doctor slamming into the doorframe and collapsing. Running to him, she gently rolls him to his back and begins to check him for further injury, spotting immediately the gash in his forehead created by his impact. In panic she runs back to the regenerator to close the wound and when he remains unconscious on it's repair she hasn't a clue what else to do but to try to fix the other injuries that were why she had dragged him here in the first place, desperately trying to calm herself with action. The wave of comfort she feels from the TARDIS helps her to focus and assures her that he will be okay.

Gently she moves the device across his chest, her fingers moving along ahead of the device trying to keep it steady as her own hands are shaking badly. Lost in her own confusion and shock as she is trying to figure out what has just happened, she at first doesn't realize he is beginning to regain consciousness.

His first sensations are of soft hands on his chest and he can't help but think how pleasant that caress feels. His next realization isn't quite so pleasant as what has just happened comes rushing back to him. Jerking up and away from Rose, he moves again to escape scrabbling back up against the door frame which they are now sitting within.

Rose this time is a fraction of a second faster halts his flight as she grabs at his shoulders. "Doctor, it's okay! You're safe! You're going to be fine!" She tries desperately to comfort the panicked Time Lord and releases him quickly as he freezes beneath her hands, his muscles tensing tight as bowstrings beneath her firm but gentle grip. Crawling backward slowly she gives him some space to catch his breath and tries to reign in her own reaction to the sudden extreme panic radiating off of him that is swamping her senses.

For a few moments they sit like that, his back braced against the right door frame, knees clutched to his chest to act as both barrier and shield, Rose sitting with her legs folded under, her hands now twisting her pajama top unsure how he is going to react next.

When next they speak, it is at the same time.

"Rose..."

"Doctor I..." when he doesn't continue she does. " Doctor... are you okay now? I mean... well..." Terror clutches at her heart as she realizes she has very much overstepped herself and most likely his next step will be to demanding her to go pack. Unable to stand the thought but knowing she has to ask she does. "D... Do you want me to go?"

His response is an immediate gut reaction, completely circumventing all conscious thought. "No! I..." He doesn't know what to say next, as he's clueless as to what to say to convince her or why she would even want to stay.

Sensing his confusion, she takes the need for him to explain away, "Okay." Pausing for a moment to collect her thoughts her eyes light on the dropped healing device, "Doctor, can I..." looking pointedly at the device then back at him with pleading in her eyes and voice tense embarrassment radiating off of her.

Following her glance, he swallows convulsively as he realizes what she is asking and steels himself to accept her assistance and close proximity.

Rose holds her breath watching him as he comes to a decision and waits for his approval before moving slowly over to retrieve the healing tool. His approval when it comes is a small nod of acceptance. She finds it hard to believe how terrified he is and begins to slightly tremble as she reaches out to hold his hand so she can position the device correctly to begin to heal the violently purple bruise on his right wrist.

Not being able to handle the sensation of her touch, and still maintain eye contact, he closes his eyes trying not to think about how gently she is touching him and how hot her hands are in comparison to his cooler skin or how that heat seems to be setting his blood on fire. Clenching his eyes tighter as unbidden the thought of what they might feel like on other parts of his body flashes in his mind, he takes a slow steadying breath unconsciously blocking all emotional broadcasts as he was taught so long ago at school and reaches out his hand to her, stilling her motions.

Rose looks up at him as he touches her, surprised as she looks in his eyes, which have become almost black. His eyes have dilated pushing the blue of his eyes back to a thin band. "Doctor?" She asks unsure of herself, and wondering if the blow to his head has maybe done more damage then she might know. Struggling to remember what she had learned in the first aid class she had taken, and what the instructor had said about how eyes reacted when there was a head injury.

"Rose..." his voice harsh and unsteady with emotions he can't begin to let himself acknowledge. "I'll take care of this, go get some rest."

Hearing the unsteadiness in his voice and knowing he has lied to her once about these injuries she begins to protest. "Doctor I..."

Forcing his voice into a steadier cadence, he looks her in the eye. "Rose, I will be fine, and I will take care of this." Seeing the disbelief in her eyes, and willing her to believe him he says, "Rose, I promise, I will take care of this, go rest, I will see you in the morning."

Wanting to argue but suddenly unsure, realizing she can no longer sense his feelings, she reluctantly hands over the dermal regenerator to him. Giving him one last rebellious look that says I expect proof you have, she stands and walks from the room.

As she disappears from sight he takes a deep breath, and cringes when a chest muscle cramps. Slowly he stands looking out the open doorway wondering what has just happened. Trying to get his mind around what he felt. Maybe Van Statten did more damage with his machines then he had thought if he could be so confused as to open up his mind to her like he had obviously done. There is no way she could have broken into his mind. He had once been able to keep the entire Gallifreyan council from guessing his true thoughts and motives and they were practiced telepaths so no mere human was going to be able to get in his head like that unless he had actually been more badly injured then he had thought. Looking down at the device in his hand he sighed and walked over to the medical bed, he had been sitting on previously and slowly began to work at healing the injuries that adorned his body. If for no other reason then to ensure that he didn't accidentally distress Rose further with his inappropriate thoughts.


	13. Chapter 13 Consequences

Chapter 13 - Consequences 

The next morning had been awkward and he had purposely left his jacket off for a short time before they moved on to their next stop, his jumper sleeves pushed up his arms just enough that it would be obvious to Rose that he had kept his promise. He had been so ashamed that she had even seen those injuries but it was very important to him that she knew that if he promised to do something his word was good. He had moved around for a time in the kitchen making a simple breakfast of toast and tea. Rose had entered the kitchen not long after he began working on the tea but they didn't say as much as they moved about the kitchen each in their own morning routine. He did note at one point her searching look and was glad when all she asked was how long till tea. Once he knew Rose had got his silent message he had slid back into his jacket and felt much more secure behind his leather armor.

When, after a time, Adam had not shown up Rose went looking for him and it didn't take long for her to realize that Adam's room was not where she had dropped him off the previous night; which prompted her to head, stomping, back into the kitchen.

"Doctor, where is Adam's room? Did you have the TARDIS move it?" She said with barely contained anger, for she figured that the Doctor was being petty about Adam's presence.

The expression on his face made it clear to her that he had no part in the room's location and that that he wasn't amused at the accusation. Before either of them said anything more there was the clear sense in their minds that the TARDIS was equally not amused by the Doctor demanding she was to return the room to its previous location. With the equivalent of a mental harrumph, she cut the mental connection.

Rose, looking sheepish, said quietly, "Sorry Doctor." His response was a curt nod of acceptance and moments later Adam came in with a very confused expression on his face.

The first words out of his mouth were a question, "Can this place move things around?"

Rose's reply was light and betrayed nothing of the previous conversation. "Sure, told you she could do all sorts of neat things."

From the look on his face, he obviously didn't think a ship that could move rooms around was a good thing. After whining about the accommodations for a bit he started spouting off about all the stuff he knew and had discovered while he was at Van Statten's, making it clear exactly how little he thought of Rose's experiences. He also demonstrated exactly how he had survived working for Van Statten by being a total suck up to the Doctor.

By the time they had headed back to the control room it had become exceedingly clear to the Doctor exactly how badly Adam's superiority was beginning to get to Rose and that she very much wanted to impress the pretty boy. Making the excuse of forgetting something in the kitchen, he asked if Adam would go get it, which sent him quickly scurrying back to get the requested item.

As soon as Adam left the room he grabbed Rose's hand and as they headed out the front door he suggested they show him exactly what she did know. Pulling her aside, he began giving her a quick rundown on the space station on which they had landed. Her bright smile made it clear exactly how much she appreciated his support.

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Wikipedia The Long Game Episode Synopsis

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Rose still couldn't believe what Adam had done. His selfishness had nearly got them all killed and when he tried to blame it on the Doctor she became down right furious. True, things had all worked out in the end but it was no thanks to any effort Adam had made. In fact if it hadn't been for Cathica they all would have died. How dare he blame the Doctor for his own selfishness? She now was sure she knew exactly why the TARDIS had been so difficult with regard to Adam's accommodations the previous night.

She frowned as she thought about how close they had come to being turned into one of those frozen zombie because of his actions and her stupid need to show off for him, which again had gotten them in trouble. Though, as she remembered the Doctor's words as they had re-entered the TARDIS, her embarrassed feeling was replaced by a warm wash of pleasure, "I only take the best and I have Rose." He had chosen her and not because she was some genius; she had seen very clearly from Adam's actions that just because you were smart didn't mean you had the sense to use that intelligence. As she continued to think on the day, she really did hope that everything worked out well for the people on Satellite 5. There had been a lot of people hurt when the Jagrafess had exploded, yet it had been Cathica that had saved their lives and she was pretty sure the Doctor wasn't mistaken when he had told her that she would manage just fine as reluctant as she had been to help at first it had ultimately been her quick thinking that saved their lives.

"Rose?"

Her head popped up from where she had been unconsciously fiddling with the zipper on her jacket. "Yeah?"

"They really are going to be ok, things will all start to return to normal now that the Jagrafess is gone."

"I know. It's just, well, I was thinking about Adam and I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have told him so much and I really shouldn't have given him the key. I mean, you trusted me with it not him."

"No, you shouldn't have..." At her dejected look he couldn't help but finish saying, "but you're not going to do it again are you? No, I'm sure you're not, so no harm done and, well, it did get Satellite 5 and the Earth's progress back on track." At her continued look of self-disappointment, he said cheerfully, "I know just the thing, you need a spot of fun. So how do you feel about snow?" He smiled at the sparkle that appeared in her eyes.

"Well, go on then, go get into something warm." As she scurried off to the wardrobe, he yelled after her, "And don't forget gloves and a scarf!"


	14. Chapter 14 Woman Wept

Chapter 14 - Woman Wept 

A few minutes later Rose appeared wearing the warm thin thermal clothing the TARDIS had provided when he told her where he was planning on taking Rose. Much to his amusement the scarf his fourth incarnation had been so fond of was also wrapped multiple times around her, one loop wrapped around her head and the rest of the scarf in ever increasing loops around her neck draping down her chest.

The look of utter mischievous delight on her face made him grin the huge face splitting grin that she loved so much. Holding out her arms she asked, "So what you think?" Her tongue was poked pertly at the corner of her mouth as she smiled.

"Definitely a fashion statement. Where did you find that old thing? I haven't seen that for years."

The tone of his voice making her say "Oh really? Now you have to tell me where it came from!"

Looking sheepish he mumbled something she didn't quite catch.

"What was that Doctor? Don't think I caught that," she said, knowing now that she really had found a treasure, if nothing else because of its Doctor teasing factor.

"Alright, it was mine, you happy?" he said, flushing with embarrassment as she began to laugh.

"Yours?" she said, laughing even harder, trying to picture her jumper and leather jacket-wearing Doctor wearing something so flamboyant.

"Oi, a little respect here. It's not that funny!" he protested. "And don't tell me you have never worn something just for fun!" Coming out from behind the console, he came over to her and, smiling, gently re-arranged the loops about her neck. "'Sides," he continued, "It's warm, perfect for colder weather outings." He said this with a tender expression that made her heart melt. Then he ruined the effect by teasing, "that is if you can keep from tripping over it."

"Oi, now who's being rude?" she stated, mockingly indignant.

Ignoring her indignance he exuberantly moved to the controls and with a flourish turned on the monitor so she could see the planet below.

"Oh!" Looking at the monitor she saw a beautiful planet with a massive landmass that curled around looking like a bent over person. To the side of it were a string of small islands looking almost like tears. "Where?"

"Miss Rose Tyler, welcome to Woman Wept."

A few minutes later they were landing in a winter wonderland. Never had Rose seen such a variety of ice and snow. Off to the left was an ocean of ice and foam and almost directly above the TARDIS was what looked like a monstrously huge wave frozen in mid curl. Along the shore were unusual frozen shapes with odd multi-colored bands twisting round in their nearly transparent surfaces. All along the beach, which seemed to go on forever, were these large boulders in unusual and randomly colored shapes, which created a prismatic rainbow effect, which flickered around like aurora borealis. It was incredibly beautiful and for the longest time she stood in the doorway of the TARDIS stunned by the sheer magnitude and beauty that surrounded her.

As the Doctor stood watching Rose taking in the new surroundings he realized that this simple act of wonder epitomized why he traveled with companions. For long moments he was entranced, watching her reactions to the exquisite sights that surrounded them. Quietly he approached her, gently putting his hands on her shoulders and softly asking in her ear. "Like it?"

Sensing his presence behind her she held her breath as his soft touch and question sent chills down her spine that had nothing to do with the cold outside. "Yes, it's…" she trailed off, as she didn't have the words to properly capture her awe.

Moving to her side and holding out his hand she was surprised he wasn't wearing any gloves or anything more substantial then his usual attire. "Don't you think you should put on something a bit warmer?"

His smile was gentle but his words firm, "No, alien me, remember?"

Smiling back at him she took his outstretched hand and, gently swinging their joined hands between them, she headed out to explore.

As they walked along she continued to admire the landscape and in spite of her warmer clothes she felt the need to pull a loop of his scarf around her face to warm her cold nose. Looking over at the towering waves she had to ask. "How'd that happen?" She was sure that the waves were a good 100 feet or higher all frozen, ice and foam like an ocean in the midst of a huge storm.

"Many years back a meteor crashed in to this small planet with sufficient force to push it just far enough back from the sun that the waves created by the blast were flash frozen."

"But wouldn't the heat of the impact have melted them, I mean aren't meteors hot when they crash into things?"

"Normally yes, but in this case, nope. A lot of very unique variables caused this, odds of that particular combination of events happening again are a few zillion to one and then to have it leave enough atmosphere so humans like you," he said, tapping her nose, "could still enjoy the sights, well it's pretty much a one of a kind place."

"Well then let's make the most of it!" She said running off to dodge between some boulders to scoop up some of the powdered ice. Quickly packing it into a snowball, which she lobbed in his direction as he came round a boulder, hitting him square in the chest.

Looking down at his snow-splattered chest he shouted, "Fantastic!" Then jumped to the side to collect his own icy ammunition yelling, "Rose Tyler you are so going to get it now." With a delighted laugh, she lobbed another snowball in his direction, missing him by a wide margin. The great Woman Wept snowball war was on.


	15. Chapter 15 Shifting Ice

Chapter 15 - Shifting ice 

For a good hour they ran around exuberantly throwing snowballs and otherwise having a grand time. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he had laughed like this and when his sides began to ache from laughing he knew it had been far too long. He watched as she ran, darting about the boulders like a winter hare, the shock of blonde hair was sometimes the thing only thing he saw before he was forced to dodge yet another snow ball. Rarely did she hit him as his reflexes were so much faster then hers but still that didn't seem to phase her one bit. The sounds of her cheerful laughter were making his hearts sing with joy.

She was finding it delightful the way the ice structures caused strange echoing, allowing her to sneak up on the Doctor. More then once she was able to score a snowball on his person because of the echoing that allowed her to confuse his sense of direction and hide her approaching. She did learn rather quickly though that she was not the only one that could use that that ploy of misdirection. After his fourth consecutive foray that scored a snowball to her she decided maybe he just might be better at the echo management then she was.

"Truce Doctor!" she yelled.

Warily poking his head out from a boulder to her right he said, "Too much for you, huh Tyler?"

"Not on your life," she said prancing up and gently punching his shoulder. "Just was thinking though, you know what goes great with cold weather?"

Responding together they said, "hot chocolate!" With a glimmer in her eye she began to run back to the TARDIS. "Last on in has to make the chocolate!"

Protesting her lead, he yelled, "Oi! No fair, you've a head start!" Still, he beat her back to the TARDIS without being winded.

"And you wondered why I took a head start 'Mr. I have a superior Time Lord physiology!'" She said, her smile taking all sting out of her indignation.

When they entered the TARDIS they found that neither of them needed to make the coco, as sitting on a tray in the kitchen was a large thermos and two large mugs filled with the steaming liquid. Rose's favorite pink, rose-shaped mug and a large black mug she hadn't seen before sporting the logo "I'm the Best, Forget the Rest!" emblazoned in white lettering.

"Think much of yourself do you?" she said cheekily, as she saw the new mug.

Snatching her rose shaped mug from the tray and taking a large drink he replied, "Nope, seems like that's your mug." He said with an almost shy smile.

Which only prompted her to a big grin as scooped up the remaining mug and said, very primly, while shaking her finger at him, "and don't you forget it mister." Setting them both off laughing again.

After a short time of warming up and enjoying their hot chocolate they headed back out to their recreational snowball war. Another hour passed and another after that as they walked along the frozen beach. Time had seemed to take on a timeless quality as the day had moved on and the Doctor was amazed that the day had gone so smoothly. Rarely did he have such a pleasant quiet day and he wondered what new misery he would have to endure in exchange for the day of joy.

Despite their enjoyment he knew that they couldn't stay too much longer due to the rotation of the planet and the shadowing of other celestial bodies in the area, about 16 hours of every 24 here were dark, a big part of the reason that the planet stayed in its perpetually frozen state. The temperatures dropped far too low for a human to endure during the hours of darkness so they had to be sure to be gone before dark. As his thoughts were preoccupied with the end, Rose took off at a run, dashing in and about the standing boulders, collecting handfuls of snow in the process and laughing.

As if the very thought of the need for them to leave was enough to ensure trouble, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of cracking and the onset of a severe earthquake which threw him from his feet. Moments later the severe shaking and cracking sounds of the ground were followed by the addition of the sound of Rose screaming, a sound which sent daggers of ice through his hearts as he staggered to his feet fighting the rolling ground. His hearts were racing as he desperately tried to figure out which direction her voice was coming from, the echoing that they had found so amusing earlier had now become a nightmare.


	16. Chapter 16 LOST!

Chapter 16 - LOST! 

Rose had never been in a serious earthquake and so immediately she was frightened by the force that threw her from her feet, but what made her scream was the sudden break in the ground beneath her which caused her to go sliding into a newly formed hole in the ice. She had the unfortunate luck of being right over a rather large pocket in the ice when the earthquake hit and the violent shaking had shattered the ice beneath her, sending her feet first into the hole. When she came to an abrupt stop against the inside of the cave her screaming too came to an abrupt halt as the impact knocked her unconscious.

The Doctor was convinced that the only thing worse then hearing Rose screaming in terror was the sudden silencing of that scream which made him all the more desperate to find her. 'TARDIS I need you to find Rose!' He said. Reaching out to the TARDIS to enlisted her assistance in trying to find his now missing and, he feared, injured friend, while he tried desperately to figure out from what direction he had last heard her cry.

The TARDIS too was having problems with the earthquake; the ice wave that had towered over her when they landed had not fared well in the vigorous shaking and large chunks of ice had pelted down upon her until only her very top was visible. There would be no re-entering the TARDIS until she moved. 'Theta? What's wrong?' she could feel his panic sharp and brittle in her mind and knew that she was not the only one that now was facing problems.

'Something has happened to Rose, when the quake hit she screamed, Rose doesn't scream without reason and these bloody ice rocks were distorting her voice. I need to know where she is NOW! She stopped screaming…' suddenly he couldn't continue, fear beginning to paralyze him.

'Theta?' When she didn't hear a response she too began to panic 'THETA!'

'Yes, here. Did you find her?'

At the resumption of their contact she began to search furiously for Rose; if he was this close to the edge over the loss of the human she had to help him find her. He was still too fragile to lose her now and she could feel how desperate he was to find her, to receive some assurance that she was okay. She couldn't bear to think of what he might do if he were to lose her too, so soon after the loss of Gallifrey. It had been a few months now since his collapse with the Brigadier but that was not nearly enough to time. To placate him she tried to send him soothing calm as she searched, trying to help him regain his equilibrium. She was afraid he would need to take care of Rose when they found her and he couldn't do that if he lost control. The fact that she was having so much difficulty figuring out Rose's location made it clear that whatever had happened Rose was unconscious. Theta was beginning to grow angry and desperate at her lack of information so she was relieved when she found Rose, discovering her dull spark in the mental landscape. 'I've found her Theta!' she tried to pour as much positive energy into that statement as she could and felt a wave of relief at her announcement.

'Where?' he queried impatiently when the TARDIS was not immediately forthcoming with the information.

'She's unconscious,' at those words she could feel his panic begin to rise again. Reaching out to him, she focused on the blazing ball of energy in her mind that was her Time Lord and measured from him to the energy signature she had found indicating Rose's location. 'Maybe 100 feet to your right.' Mere fractions of a second after telling him where to find her, she felt his movement in a ragged line toward Rose's location.

The Doctor took off, moving as quickly as he could in the direction indicated, the boulders which had been a wonderful obstacle course earlier for their fun now were just obstacles to finding out what had happened to Rose. Rounding a final boulder he came frighteningly close to falling into the hole appeared just beyond. He stood, staring in horror, at Rose's crumpled form at the bottom, his breath catching as he spotted the smear of blood near her head and immediately dreading the worst.

The soft words of the TARDIS in his mind assuring him she was still alive was the only thing that permitted him to collect his senses enough to begin working out how to get down to her. It would take some climbing but he should be able to get to her fairly easily as the descent was more like a slick slope then a sheer drop. The entrance to the cave she had fallen into was barely large enough to allow his form to enter and for the briefest moment his shoulders stuck on the lip but after a quick wriggle he was through slipping and sliding his way down to her. He knew he would have to go back up to the TARDIS to get a rope to be able to get her out but he had to find out immediately how extensive were her injuries and whether he should even try to bring her out himself, or have the TARDIS try the tricky materialization into a space that would be only just large enough to contain the three of them.

Ever so gently he touched her, reassured by the warmth of her skin and relieved that none of it had been directly in contact with the icy surface on which she was lying, which meant he wouldn't have to move her until he had been able to scan her fully for injuries. His next action was quick and practiced as he took out the sonic screwdriver and began scanning her for any other injuries besides the obvious cut on the back of her head and the break in her right leg, twisted unnaturally beneath her. Relieved, he found that these were the extent of her injuries. He sighed; at least her continued unconsciousness would allow him to reset her leg without her feeling any pain.

As Rose regained consciousness the first thing that she felt was shock of pain from her right leg, a pain that extracted a scream from her lips and brought tears to her eyes. Sobbing at the pain, no longer quite as excruciating but more then painful enough, her next realization was that the Doctor was holding her, cradling her upper body in his lap. Forcing her eyes to focus she mumbled "Doc…tor?"

"Yes Rose, I'm here. You're going to be okay. Hang in there sweetheart."

Her muddled mind only seemed able to latch on to the last part; he'd called her sweetheart. She smiled up at him.

As she smiles up at him, with her million-watt smile that melted his hearts every time, his mind is flooded with the realization that the only thing standing between him and his darkness is that smiling face. In that moment he decides that, no matter what happens, he will tell her how much she means to him. He prays to any god listening that she won't reject him and leave him with shattered hearts.

Reaching out, he calls to the TARDIS and asks, 'will you please move the closet with the climbing equipment to the room closest to the front door? I will be there in a few moments. Rose has been hurt and I need to get her out of this hole. Her reluctant reply sends a shiver of fear though him.

'I can do that, but Theta, we have a problem… I'm buried and you won't be able to get in the front door. The ice wave above me collapsed in the quake.'

For a long moment he pauses, taking in this new information. He can't help but think can this day get any worse? 'Okay, well then were just going to have to move you out from under it.' With that he sends over the coordinates. 'Materialize near the break in the Ice. That should free you.'

'I will be there in a moment,' comes her comforting reply, right before she disappears from his senses.

As the moments pass and she doesn't return he begins to suspect his day just got considerably worse.


	17. Chapter 17 Buried Alive

Chapter 17 - Buried Alive 

When she hadn't materialized as promised the Doctor knew they were in bad trouble. As he couldn't feel her anywhere it could only mean one thing: she was too far away either in time or space for him to contact her and in these circumstances nothing about that could be considered even remotely good.

Rose felt ill. Her head hurt, her leg hurt even worse and, to top that off, now the Doctor was practically screaming panic at her. "Doctor what's wrong?" Rose asked quietly as she looked up from where he had pulled her partially into his lap. She could tell he was debating what to tell her and said," Please Doctor I need to know".

For a long moment he debated telling her everything about what was going on. The last thing she needed was to know how deadly their situation had become but when she looked at him with such pleading in her eyes he knew he was sunk. But there was no way he was going to tell her that unless the TARDIS reappeared soon she was in all likelihood as good as dead. Because of his Gallifreyan physiology he would probably make it to morning, albeit he would be one damn cold Gallifreyan, but Rose… Rose would die. Exposed as they were, there would be no way that Rose would be able to stand the freezing temperatures that this planet would plummet to in the darkness. "Rose, something has happened to the TARDIS. I asked her to move nearer to us so I could get some equipment to get us out of here, but she didn't return".

Realizing she was whining, but in the confusion and pain it just didn't seem to matter, she responded, "Why? Why would she take off and just leave us here? What are you not telling me Doctor?"

His hearts clenched as she asked what he was hiding. He just couldn't tell her what would become of her if they didn't get out of there so instead replied, "I am sure it's just a temporary delay she got buried by that ice wave that was close to us when we landed and I am sure it's just something temporary that she will fix and will be back real soon. Nothing to worry about. Just rest."

"I'm cold, Doctor," she said in that small and helpless sounding voice he knew she only used when she was feeling really bad. That voice that he would do virtually anything to never hear because it meant that something was hurting her. Gently readjusting her in his arms, he pulled her more fully into his lap so that only a minimal part of her body was in direct contact with the icy surface beneath them. He unzipped his jacket and, pulling her closer to his chest, he wrapped his coat around her. As he got her as close to his body warmth as he could he cursed the fact that his body was so much cooler then hers. He would much rather have the extra body warmth of a human to share with her so that she could at least have as long as she could, even if it meant he to would die of exposure in this frozen hell. The idea of her dying here and him surviving made him ill. He would much rather die than go back to the way he was before Rose brought light back into his darkness, a darkness that was already beginning to descend and would herald her death if he wasn't able to get her out of here soon.

He said it would be all right, Rose thought, but no wonder he was panicking if the TARDIS had disappeared from his senses. Rose knew the TARDIS and he were in telepathic communication most of the time and his panic seemed perfectly natural to her concussion-addled mind. He said it would be all right so she trusted him, snuggled into his additional warmth and let sleep overcome her.

Even as grim thoughts enveloped his mind, the Doctor pulled up his legs to try to shelter Rose as much as possible from the increasing cold. But fate wasn't done with them yet; he felt an odd warping twisting sensation of time distorting near them, not in the manner of the appearance of the TARDIS but in a way that felt like time itself was twisting. He hadn't felt anything like this for hundreds of years, not since his first incarnation when he was a young child and had been shown the untempered schism. The feeling left him shaking, nauseous and wanting to run just as much as it had all those years ago. Just when he thought he couldn't take the sensation any longer it stopped, replaced by the roar of a strong aftershock surrounding him. Understanding how precarious their position was in this cave he scooped up Rose and made for the slippery slope that lead to the surface. Pieces of ice were pelting him as he desperately scrambled to get out before they were trapped in the cave. Just as he neared the top of the slope what he had most feared would happen did and the boulder that had been so close to the lip of the entrance collapsed forward sealing them in; they were buried alive.

Now even if the TARDIS did manage to materialize near the entrance there would be no way for them to leave.


	18. Chapter 18 Tug of War

Chapter 18 - Tug of War 

The TARDIS got the coordinates from the Doctor, assuring him she would return momentarily. She did not count on the fact that someone else had other plans. In the darkness there is laughter that would make any sentient being's blood run cold.

Even as she begins the dematerialization sequence she feels the warping of space around her. Desperate to shake whatever has latched onto her she tries to rematerialize but even as she does so she realizes she is no longer anywhere near Woman Wept.

Panic starts to swell as she realizes how far way she is; it will take her hours to get back to where they were and she knew the Theta and Rose didn't have hours. Theta would be able to endure the cold, he wouldn't be a very happy Time Lord doing so but he would survive, Rose on the other hand would not and that was unacceptable. Theta was still far too fragile to be able to watch Rose die. If him letting the Dalek out at Van Statten's complex had not told her that, his actions that evening would have; he needs Rose and she needs him. She has to find a way back in time to save them both. Warping through equations faster than she has ever done before in her life, she utilizes every scrap of computing power she possesses taking dangerous shortcuts she would normally never consider with anyone on board, skirting stellar explosions to eek out every bit of momentum and energy she can acquire to transfer herself back faster to the planet. Yet even as she strives to return she has a horrible sinking feeling that it won't be enough.

In perfectly square, gray room there are four doors. Each door is unique; the first adorned with a precise grid of squares that is alternated black and white. The door on the opposite wall is also adorned in a black and white pattern but in contrast there is no discernible pattern it consists of random swirls some area's darker some lighter never staying still but always the door remains exactly half white and half black.

In that room are four beings older then the universes and they play dangerous games. Adorned in white is the Lady Order, Adorned in Black the Lord Chaos and to their sides stand Lady Time and Lord Death.

If an observer were to watch they would find it difficult to follow the games. One moment the playing board is that of chess but at the next glance, it my be Go and the glance after it might be draughts and at other times as it was now the table was covered in a starry expanse with small figures which were moved sometimes seemingly at random and sometimes with obvious purpose. The silence that pervaded the room was old and powerful but occasionally ever so occasionally words were spoken. This was one of those occasions.

In a sweet lilting harmony Lady Time speaks, "Lord Chaos you have moved inappropriately". The man attired all in black quickly becomes furious, if possible becoming even darker in his aspect.

"How dare you think to call that an illegal move? I was well within my rights to move that piece."

The Lady Time has many times faced his anger and knows that even thought he blusters he must abide by the rules of the games, as they each must, and she, as co-arbiter of the games, has every right to challenge his move.

"Lord Death do you agree?" she asks levelly, without showing she has considered Lord Chaos' words in any manner. For long moments he considers each of the previous moves, and provides her his agreement.

"She is correct, Lord Chaos, it is not your move." Fuming Chaos goes to move the piece back to its previous position and Time stays his hand. "You know you cannot do that," she corrects and much to his fury she reaches out and touches his playing piece 'destruction'.

Chaos fumes, knowing he has been caught, and anger again swells in his breast that Time has yet again influenced this piece. More times than he could count she has intervened in his plans for the Doctor, she has turned him to her own ends as surely as in Go pieces flipped from white to black and back again. So many times in fact that he has had to bring in a foil for his own piece. He silently congratulates himself again for having been able to save that piece from the destruction of Gallifrey he had wrought though the Doctor; that piece would again soon be of use and Time would pay for her interference then. For now it was hidden at the end of the universe. Too many times Time has interfered and the day would soon come when she would regret her influence on his piece that had caused so many of his plans to play out to Order's favor.

Order stood quietly on her side of the board; her face giving nothing away as she smiles inside, Chaos has unwittingly assisted her plans. The game continues.

Rose is confused; one minute she had been sleeping quietly, the next the Doctor has shifted her to lay over his shoulder as he tries to scale the slope by which she had been deposited in this dark hole. Dark. Something is wrong; it hadn't been dark earlier had it? Everything is so confused and her head and leg hurt terribly, all the more so for the Doctor's rough handling. Why is he so upset? Didn't he say the TARDIS would be returning soon? Oh wait, it was light out then. Had it been that long? Where is the TARDIS?

The Doctor's hearts sink as he hears the thud, and feels the shift in pressure caused by the sudden descent of the boulder above. Lovely, now they had the option of suffocating to add to freezing to death. He should know better by now to ever ask what else could go wrong. After close to a century you would think he would know better then to tempt fate like that. Kicking himself mentally, he shifts Rose from his shoulder back into his arms as he feels her squirming uncomfortably in the firemen's carry he had her in.

"Doctor? What's going on, when did it get so dark? Oh… My head hurts." Just talking hurts and she doesn't understand what it is that is causing all his distress. It is like a tangible thing surrounding him and it's making her head throb.

"Oh Rose… " He stops not knowing what to say, then screwing up his courage he says what is on his hearts, knowing their odds of survival have just plummeted to new lows. "Rose everything has gone wrong. I'm so sorry I never should have brought you here. Please believe me, I never wanted to hurt you, but…" He pushes himself to finish his thought knowing he may not be able to later, as later is a commodity that is rapidly running out. "I just couldn't… I just couldn't let you go. You showed me what it meant to smile again, to laugh… to live again. You have been the light I didn't think I would ever be allowed to see again… And now my selfishness is going to kill you. Because I couldn't let you go… let you stay, safe with your mum who loves you. I'm so very sorry Rose." Tears are now flowing freely down his face as his grief at what he has done overwhelms him. "I'm so very, very, sorry"

Confused, but amazed at his words, she replies in the only way that makes sense. "Doctor I love you, I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. I don't care if things go wrong, you always fix them; I trust you."

Not being able to accept that she really understands what she is saying, even though his hearts so want to, he says, "Rose, you don't understand, I can't fix it this time. I don't have any way to fix it. We are stuck in an ice cave, running out of air and soon the only air to be had will be so cold it would flash freeze the air and blood in your lungs! A human can't survive on Woman Wept after the sun sets, it gets too cold and with the TARDIS gone there is no way to leave." Finally he crumples to the floor, careful to protect as much of Rose from the cold as he can. He doesn't know how much longer they have but he wants to give her every moment he can.

Rose whimpers at the intensity of the emotions he is broadcasting and tries to pull away.

As gently as he can he pulls her back to him.

She gasps in actually pain as she comes in contact with the flesh of his neck, and tries more vigorously to escape the bombardment of emotions. "Please Doctor you're hurting me…"

His arms immediately loosen as she pushes away from him. Her rejection wounds him to the core and then she does cry out, her arms moving to shield her head in the only way she knows how, regardless of how useless it is in these circumstances. "Pl…please Doctor it hurts, you hurt," with a heart-rending sob she continues to try to crawl away from him. "Please… so loud… can't… hurts!"

Suddenly, with a bolt of understanding, he realizes what may be happening and, closing his eyes, he locks his mind. Her sigh and the way her body goes limp into unconsciousness against him tell more clearly then any words exactly what was so distressing her. For so long he hasn't bothered to shield his mind, because the only one could hear him was the one who's presence in his mind was the only thing between him and complete insanity. He now understands that his lost TARDIS must have been shielding Rose from his out of control emotions.

"Oh Rose, I'm sorry I had no idea, even in this I have failed you." Gently he gathers her to his chest, ever so gently rocking her limp form. "Oh my poor Rose." Again he is crying and this time he is beyond caring even as the tears begin to freeze on his face.


	19. Chapter 19 And Found

Chapter 19 - And Found 

The TARDIS has been frantically trying to get back to Woman Wept but no matter what she does it doesn't seem to be moving her any faster to her goal. Panic has truly set in; she knows it has been close to three hours now since the sun set and all she can do now is hope that somehow her Theta has found a way to shelter their fragile human. She doesn't know how, but she does know that if he hasn't when she does get back it's not going to be pretty.

Suddenly surrounding her is a sensation like every circuit in her body has been hooked up to high voltage. The only sensation that has ever even come close to this was when the White Guardian had come to her in those dark days immediately after the destruction. Then everything is a mixture of color sensation and energy. She hangs, dazed, in space for long minutes after the intense disorientation. Seeing immediately when she comes to her senses what is below her. Rechecking her sensors she can hardly believe where she is; there below her is Woman Wept, somehow it seems so very fitting all of a sudden, crying in the darkness. What must her Theta think of her abandoning him and Rose to the darkness and cold? How is she going to explain to him her sudden disappearance when even she isn't sure what has happened?

She can't spend any more time worrying about what might have happened or what will happen, she knows she has to get down there and find out. From there she will figure out what to do next.

The Doctor gasps in relief as suddenly he feels the TARDIS materialize close enough that he can feel her presence again and immediately shivers when he gets no response from his mental query. Moments later though he is washed with an immense relief that he knows isn't entirely his. 'TARDIS!' his joy is immediately muted at the almost imperceptible noise Rose makes. Her body temperature has dropped dangerously low and not too long ago she reached the point where she was no longer even shivering in spite of his best efforts to keep her warm. The oxygen is also beginning to get very thin. He knows he doesn't have time for any kind of reunion, happy or otherwise, until Rose is safely away from here. Very slowly he stands up and moves as close to the wall as space will allow. 'TARDIS, these are the coordinates and dimensions of the space were in. Can you set down just in front me so we can get in the door?'

'Yes, but it will be very tight, the risk of damaging your refuge will be high, I'm unsure how it will handle the additional shaking of the materialization.' At her words she can feel his horror at exposing Rose to the outside cold no matter how briefly so she hurries on before that feeling can turn into full fledged panic. 'Would it not be better for me to materialize around you?' His relief at that suggestion is tangible and she immediately she begins to act on the suggested plan.

Moments later the Doctor finds Rose and himself in the main console room of the TARDIS. Never has she looked so beautiful, in spite of the sudden strain on his eyes from going from the complete darkness of their underground space to the fully lit TARDIS interior. Noticing immediately the strain on Theta's face she dims the lights, at the same time she is moving the med bay so that it opens directly into the console room, her every sense is telling her that Rose is in critical condition from both hypothermia and oxygen deprivation.

The Doctor doesn't hesitate, moving to the med bay like death himself is chasing after him. Ever so gently he puts Rose down on the first bed he comes too. The irony that it is the same one that she had pulled him too but a day and a half earlier is not lost on him, but it is ignored, as he moves rapidly, placing a warm steam vapor oxygen mask on her in order to help warm up her core temperature faster as well as increase the oxygen saturation levels in her blood. Next is to get most of the chilled clothes off; quickly he strips her down to her knickers, wrapping her ever so gently in the warmed thermal blankets that the TARDIS provides. He watches her with a critical eye, as he threads an IV containing warmed fluids into her chilled arm. Between the head injury, the broken leg and her heat and oxygen deficits, fear still is still clutching at his hearts. He has to fight the fear that even after finally achieving the sanctuary of the TARDIS he will still lose her in spite of her improving color.

Moments later Rose begins to shiver convulsively. He so wants to hold her in his arms but knows that his own body temperature is still far to cold to provide any value to her. He recognizes and is glad for the extra warmth the TARDIS has pumped into the room. As he too begins to shiver he finally has to acknowledge how cold he has become and grabbing another warm thermal blanket he wraps it around himself as he continues to work on stabilizing and treating Rose. Next is the head injury and he quickly retrieves the device that will repair the concussion she sustained. After setting and treating her the broken leg all that is left to do is wait. He hates waiting.

For a long time he just stands there, just watching her, his amazing Rose. Never had he suspected that she was an empath but after her reactions when he had shielded her from his emotions there was no question in his mind that was exactly what she is. He knows he should have recognized it a long time ago, all the signs were there; the way she always seemed to know exactly when he needed to talk and when he just needed to think about something else, the way her moods so often mirrored his own. So many little hints and he had missed them all. He wonders if she even knows that there is a name for what she is. He also has to know how long the TARDIS has known.

In response to his unspoken question she replies, 'I have known since that very first trip.'

'Why didn't you tell me?'

'She didn't want you to know; she was afraid. She didn't know how you would react.'

"Doctor?" Rose's quiet call ends the discussion.

"I'm here Rose, you're safe now."

"You're hurt."

"No, you were hurt Rose, remember you hit your head when you fell," he says ever so gently.

"And I broke my leg too, didn't I?"

"Yes, but that's all better now, you will just need to go gently for a couple of days," trying to make light if it he says, "So that means no climbing walls, running away from bad guys or jumping rope okay?"

"'k." She says with a weak smile "But you need to take care of yourself."

"I have, see, nice warm blanket. Nice and toasty now," he said gently, flapping the blanket he has about his shoulders.

"Don't avoid the topic, Doctor, you know that's not what I mean. I mean those," she says, slightly irate, pointing to his face.

Confused he reaches up to touch his face, only to wince when his fingers come in contact with a number of small cuts.

"See, you're so busy saving the world you can't take care of yourself."

Quietly he replies avoiding her gaze, "Guess it's a good thing you're around then."

Responding cheerfully and emphatically she says, "Guess it's a good thing then you're stuck with me then." At the enthusiasm in her voice he can't help but look up and at her beautiful beaming smile and he can't help but smile himself in return.

"All right you big lug, enough delaying, go get the dermal regenerator."


	20. Chapter 20 Coming to Terms

Chapter 20 - Coming to Terms 

Walking over to get the dermal regenerator he couldn't help but remember his words to her as he had held her rapidly chilling body. He loved her; he'd almost as said as much to her, admitting how much he needed her, how much she meant to him. Hopefully she wouldn't remember. Maybe he didn't have to face what he had said and maybe they could just continue to be friends.

Looking up into the mirror over the counter, he now saw what she had been referring to earlier; all over the right side of his face were small scores in his flesh. Thinking back he realizes that there had been a lot of broken ice that had fallen in the tremor that had sealed them in to what could so easily have been their icy tomb. Still, the cuts were a small price to pay considering that the fall that had trapped them had ultimately saved Rose by keeping what little heat they had inside with them, there was no question now that she would have died of exposure if…

"Oi, you over there in the leather, did you forget you were to bring that back over here?"

Her impertinent comment causes him to start, and to cover his lapse he turns and returns to her. Silently handing over the requested tool without thinking about the fact he was the one that needed it.

Seeing his pause, she pulls her blankets up, scooting up the bed to make space for him by sitting cross-legged at the head of the bed. "Well come on, sit down. Your turn," She says, patting the cleared space.

Suddenly, realizing his lapse in attention, he says, "S'kay Rose, I'll take care of it, you don't have to…"

"Uh uh, oh no you don't! You had you turn to play Doctor, now it's my turn."

Looking at her sharply, he wonders if she realizes the double entendre to the statement she has just made and the expression on her face is not reassuring him one bit.

"Oh come on, Doctor, you know I don't bite."

He reluctantly sits down where she has indicated. Realizing as he does how really tired he is, it's been a very long day and the fact that he hasn't slept in close to a week he knows is not helping matters any.

Gently she reaches up, cupping his face, and he closes his eyes, trying to convince himself that it's only so she can properly use the regenerator and not because the touch of her fingers feels so very good.

Pausing, she takes her hand away and almost immediately he misses her touch. Opening his eyes he immediately sees what her problem is, as she is holding out the arm with the IV to him.

"I think this might go a bit smoother without this, what do you think?"

Nodding, he gets a small sterile cloth and a plaster and quickly removes the IV, placing the bandage over the small puncture.

Content that that is taken care of, she pats the bed again in indication that he should sit back down. "Ok Doc, your turn."

Reluctantly he again sits where she indicated and closes his eyes again as her hand comes up to cup the side of his face. Slowly she runs the regenerator over each of the small sores and he has to suppress a small shiver at the sensation.

She loves looking at him like this, she loves touching him and she hopes he is not regretting his words to her from a few hours earlier. She had felt how he had struggled to express himself, the pain and the anguish as he had felt he had let her down. She remembers now almost every moment of that time, when he had held her so close trying to keep her warm. She remembers how he moved her ever so carefully to avoid jarring her broken leg, how he had taken off his jumper in order for her to wear it over the thermal clothing she had on, even though it only left him his jacket. She remembers how vehemently he insisted she needed the extra warmth far more then he did. She remembers the warmth of his chest, the wonderful smell of him, as she snuggled as close to him as she could.

Oh yes, she remembers, and she isn't going to let him forget it or pretend it didn't happen. As she finishes up with the last of the cuts she makes a decision she hopes she won't regret. Gently she runs her fingers down the side of his face, pretending to look for any other cuts she might have missed, and as she does so she puts down the regenerator. She is glad for the fact he has closed his eyes since she doesn't know if she would have the courage for what she is planning if he were looking right at her. Before she can change her mind she moves in one fluid moment onto her knees and, gently grasping his face, she kisses him. Pressing up against his warm, firm lips, for a moment she feels his start of surprise and then for a frozen moment he doesn't move and she tightens her hold on him. Then she can feel exactly when he comes to a decision and he begins kissing her back.

He must be dreaming, he can't actually be kissing Rose. His soft sweet Rose, so warm, so alive against him. Then he feels her hands warm, oh so warm against his neck, how could he ever forget how warm they were? With that kind of warmth he would never be cold again. Cold like she was earlier, the cold of near death, because of him. He is disgusted with himself for allowing her to kiss him like this; he doesn't deserve this kind of warmth, not after everything he has done. So he pushes her away even as she clings to him. Standing, he breaks their kiss, saying, "I'm sorry Rose I…"

"You what Doctor? You think you don't deserve happiness? You think that just because you push me away your feelings will go away? That MY feelings will go away? Well they won't!"

With her indignant before him, full of fire, he doesn't know what to say.

"Doctor, I have been feeling your feelings ever since you took me to see the end of the Earth. I don't know why I can suddenly do this and at this point I don't care. What I do know is how you feel about me. I have felt your desire to touch me yet you always hold back. Your desires to kiss me, yet you always hide, always run away. Well I'm tired of hiding; I'm tired of your running! I love you and nothing you say or do is going to change that. Earlier you told me you couldn't send me home, you couldn't leave me behind, even though you thought you should. You told me at Downing Street that you were afraid to do what needed to be done because it might mean losing me. So Doctor what do you say?"

For long minutes he just stood there, dumbfounded. She remembered, she remembered it all and she still wanted him. She had no idea what he was, what he had done; yet still she wanted him. "You don't know Rose… You don't know who I am, what I have done."

"I know what I have seen, I know what I have felt… I felt your anger at the Dalek, but I also felt your ability for compassion even in the face of everything they had done, to you, to your people, you were still able to have compassion for that Dalek in spite of it all. I saw you talk for hours with a little boy who couldn't go out and play, telling him of all the things we had seen at the British Empire Exhibition in 1924. I saw you save my mum, and her friends even after she had hit you. When we were looking out over earth on that first trip, I asked you who you were; do you remember what you told me? Do you Doctor?"

"Yeah," he says, almost too quietly for her to hear.

"You said 'this is what I am, what you see right here, right now, this is me.' Well you were right Doctor. What I saw then, what I see now, is not some wandering alien, but a man, a man who does the very best he can. Sometimes you make mistakes, but do you blame those mistakes on someone else like Adam did? No, you take ownership and you do the very best you can to correct those mistakes and in the process you fix a whole lot of other peoples mistakes at the same time. So it's your choice. Do you want to live in the darkness, or do you want…" with that she held out her arms to him hoping, so ardently hoping that he would come to her and not turn away.

For a long minute he just stands there, amazed beyond words at this young woman who is so very wise beyond her years and slowly, every so slowly, he walks into her arms.


	21. Chapter 21 Acceptance

Chapter 21 - Acceptance 

Slowly, every so slowly, I walk into her arms; I can't believe I am doing this; there are so many things that tell me that to accept what she is offering is wrong, but I can't stop. I want her so much it hurts, the tight constriction in my chest is telling me exactly how much. She is so warm, so soft and oh how I have wanted this. She knows, and she didn't lie when she said how much I wanted her, I have ached for her for months now and those few nights of peace I have found have been those nights I imagined holding her just like this. "Oh my precious Rose," I whisper in her hair as she embraces me.

I hold tightly to him, as I have wanted to do all those other times when I felt him wanting me. I love him so very much and I am never going to let him go. Oh how I have longed to do just this.

I know we should get out of here it is so hard from him here this room has far more negative feelings for him then positive ones, that has been more than obvious the few times we have been in here. Talking about this will be hard enough without him going into a flashback. He thinks I haven't noticed, thinks he has covered it up, the lapses when we're talking, but it's really hard not to notice when you're able to feel someone else's emotions. I didn't know what it was that first time over chips. I didn't even know there was a name for it till I did my research on the web that day when the Slitheen ship landed. I know now though what the terror is, the heart pounding fear and boiling anger that suddenly overwhelms him, I understand what these unexpected, undesired, feelings are, and know I dread them; I hate how lost, how miserable they make him.

TARDIS is amazed at what has transpired in the last few minutes as Rose has finally got through to him. She has known for a long while now exactly what Rose's feelings for her Theta have been. She has even tried to direct some of her Theta's thoughts in that direction in those rare occasions he has actually stayed asleep long enough to properly dream, but it has been so hard to get past the nightmares. His tenacious guilt has twisted almost every positive dream image she has provided into something horrible. Maybe now…

I'm going to get dressed lets get out of here. A few minutes later I gently I take his hand, kissing him quickly on the cheek. 'Now which room, TARDIS?' I think maybe it would be best for her to decide, she knows him so much better than I. I leave it to her to figure out to which room we should go; deciding whichever one I find first, is the one we're heading into.

Rose takes my hand and I'm not sure exactly what her intent is, I hope, but at the same time I am afraid to hope, that her words and actions mean what I think they might. So I let her lead and I try not to think about where this journey might take us. It doesn't take me long to find out, the next door down is the door to my bedroom. 'TARDIS?' she doesn't answer and that makes it clear she has been in on this with Rose. How long have these two been working together? What else have they been planning that I should be worried about? "Rose…" I stop her as she reaches for the door.

He's stopped and he still has me locked out. I can't feel any of his emotions like I did before and that scares me. I wish… but no it won't do any good. "Doctor?"

"Rose are you sure?" Somehow I know that if we go in there every thing is going to change and that scares me. I don't want to lose her, I just want…

I may not be able to feel his emotions but they couldn't be any more clearly written on his face. He's scared and I don't know if I can make that fear go away. I'm afraid too but it's too late to go back, we've said too much and I refuse to regret it. Gently I caress his face and kiss him, "Yes Doctor, I'm sure." With that I turn the handle and enter. I'm not sure what I expected to find in his bedroom but I didn't expect it to be so bare or so small. There is a queen size bed with a small bedside table and equally small light that turns on when we enter the room. To the left of the bed are two doors; the closest one is slightly open and leads to an ensuite bathroom, the other I suspect is a closet as there are no drawers for clothing. The only other thing in the room is a book on the bedside table and a comfortable looking chair. That's it.

Everything is normal as we enter my room, except for the fact Rose is with me,. The sight of the bed makes me nervous. . But before I can say anything Rose is kissing me and oh she feels good in my arms.

He's thinking too much again. Can't have that, so I move into to claim the kiss that he had interrupted earlier. This time there is no hesitation and the man really does know how to kiss! I don't think that being cold is going to be an issue for the rest of the night as the heat in that kiss is setting my blood on fire.

I don't know how much more I can take. I haven't felt such intense feelings like this since... I close my eyes and then all I see is burning, 10,000 Dalek ships burning, Gallifrey burning, the screams echoing... burning in my mind, then the icy cold of silence burning. I'm shaking so hard I can no longer stand, my knees buckling under weight, the burning consuming my mind as emotions consume me.

One minute I am holding the man I love more then anything in my arms, then the next my senses are on fire, never in my life have I felt such un-tempered anguish. Every breath I take is like breathing in acid. I'm burning; pain, the likes of which I have never felt.

One moment everything was beautiful the next Theta and Rose are screaming crumpling to the middle of the floor. No! 'THETA!'

I hear the TARDIS screaming my name in my mind as I hear Rose screaming in my ear. No! Not my Rose, my precious Rose. I hold her, rock her, I never wanted this, never, never wanted my darkness to touch her... never wanted to... "Oh Rose, I'm so sorry... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean too... Oh Rose I..."

One minute there is pain like she has never believed possible, the next she hears a beautiful voice, a sweet balm in her mind, but the voice is screaming a name she has never heard before, Theta. Then he is sobbing, crying, telling me how sorry he is and I know that, like two days before, I have somehow connected with his mind and I also know without any question that the excruciating pain I had been experiencing was his.

Reaching out to I gently caresses his face. "Oh Doctor, my poor Doctor, so much pain..."

"Rose I'm sorry I..." I cry brokenly, I can't believe I have hurt her like this. How could I have been so foolish to let her get this close?

"Shush, Doctor, I'm alright..." I have to make him understand; no one should have to endure such pain, let alone by them self. I reach for him. If I let him go now I will never have another chance, I know this as sure as I'm breathing. I reach with my senses, trying to feel what is going on in his mind, nothing.

I don't know what to do; I have hurt her. Her screams of pain still ring in my ears, and yet all she seems to want to do in return is hold me comfort me.

I am getting to him, I can feel him starting to respond, he is no longer blocking me out completely and I can feel his confusion but I can also feel his desire and need for comfort.

"Please Rose, please go..." almost sobbing, I plead, "Please, I don't want to hurt you." And I tremble again as she begins to rock me.

"Then don't push me away!" Then he makes a small helpless sound.

My body begins to tremble as I feel helplessly enthralled, and I couldn't care less she still here, still loves me even after what she has seen.

I can now feel exactly how this is for him, what I am doing for him, as he completely releases his mental shield I hold him even closer trying to let him know how much I love him.


	22. Chapter 22 Musings

Chapter 22 - Musings - How can this be? 

She is as tender as a summer breeze yet a tempest could not better express the ferocity of her love.

Her eyes so bright and beautiful so full of caring for all; how did I warrant such a beauty as you?

When did I loose my heart so fully? Your hair is like clouds, floating and free, softer then cotton, not like me.

I'm the 'The Oncoming Storm' frozen by time and pain, but you have melted my hearts. How can this be?

Your kindness has stolen my breath; your passion ignited my soul. When did friendship turn to fantasies of touching you?

When did love overwhelm loss, and the rest become dross?

Oh Rose how can you actually love me?

She loves me.

She loves me!

How can this be?

**To Be Continued in Part 03 - New Beginnings **


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